Told You So
by thedarkangel22
Summary: Sam and Andy are on an op to bring in a big drug dealer. As always, Sam thinks its going to be a breeze, but Andy has her doubts.
1. Chapter 1

Ok so this is my very first fanfic. Im only 15 so take it easy on the comments. But still, comments and reviews are welcome.

Rookie Blue and its concepts do not belong to me.

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I didn't feel too great about this. Something didn't feel right. When I tried to point that out to Sam, he disregarded me.

"I'm the training officer aren't I? Don't you think that I would know what I'm doing?" he pointed out while pulling the cruiser to a stop in a deserted parking lot near an old warehouse.

"Yes sir, of course sir." I replied, not without sarcasm.

He looked over at me, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth, and held my gaze.

Not wanting to be the first to look away, I stared right back into his eyes. His intense yet surprisingly warm brown eyes. Slowly the smile fell from his face and his brow furrowed as if he was concentrating on something.

For some reason that look sent a trail of shivers up my spine and I could feel the hairs on the back of my head stand straight up.

Not feeling entirely comfortable with this sensation, I wracked my brain for something to say in the hopes of making him turn away and focus on the task at hand.

Before I could do so, however, he turned his head and looked out the front window lightly shaking his head as if to clear it.

It gave me a chance to collect my wits and, to my embarrassment, admire his strong profile.

Now it was me who shook my head trying to clear it.

He was my training officer. I was his rookie. As if that wasn't a big enough no-no, I had this thing going on with Luke and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him in any way.

And yet here I was, sitting in a cruiser on an op to bring in a big drug dealer, and I was ogling my TO.

Not that it would matter. He doesn't like me very much, ever since I ruined his 8 months of gruelling undercover work by arresting him.

Not that that was my fault. How was I to know he was an undercover officer? And it wasn't my fault that I was assigned to him.

Besides, I don't date cops. I don't.

And still, I couldn't help feeling like a school girl with a crush on her handsome English teacher.

* * *

She'd been staring at me for a while now, concentrating intensely the side of my head. I wonder what she sees when she looks at me like that. I've caught her doing it a couple of times before as well.

It makes me feel... well I don't know what it makes me feel. Or maybe I don't want to admit what it makes me feel.

It would be completely wrong. She was my rookie. It was against the rules for me to be anything more than a training officer and a friend to her.

But then again, I've never really been a stickler for rules.

That being said, she wouldn't be interested. Not when she was involved with Callahan.

Sighing again, I tried to push any straying thoughts about Andy out of my head. We had a job to do.

"Ok McNally" I said then grinned when she jumped as if I'd startled her. "Let's get a move on."

I opened the cruiser door knowing she'd do the same. Once we were both out, I turned to her.

"You ready McNally?" I asked, then smirked. "You look a bit dazed"

It took a considerable amount of control not to laugh when her face reddened and she scowled.

"Aren't we supposed to have some sort of a plan, _sir_?"

"Oh right." I moved closer to her with mock seriousness. "We bust through those doors over there, we cuff some bad guys, we stuff them in the cruiser, we go back to 15 and grab some coffee on the way. Got it? Get it? Good."

Without waiting for her reply, I began to walk toward the back doors of the old warehouse, knowing that she would follow.

Once I reached the doors, I waited for her. She was next to me in a few seconds.

"On the count of— oh for god's sake McNally, weapon _drawn." _When she had her gun in hand, I continued.

"On the count of three ok?" She nodded her head.

"One, Two, Three." And we burst through the doors.

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Ok so that was chapter one. I'm working on chapter two right now and I hope to get it up soon. Remember, comment and review! Thanks.

Xoxo thedarkangel22


	2. Chapter 2

_**Ok so this is chapter 2. Im working on getting you chapter 3 sometime tomorrow.**_

_**hope you like it! remember comment!**_

_**Rookie Blue and its concepts do not belong to me.**_

_**

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**_

My heart was pounding as adrenalin pulsed through me. Sam and I burst through the doors side by side and ran straight into a large open room.

In the room, there were 4 men. Rocco Daffanzo, the dealer, was sitting in one of the two chairs in the spacious room. Two burly bodyguards stood on either side of him, one with a buzz cut and the other with a winding tattoo running down his arm. The impression of guns was visible through their matching tight black t-shirts.

The third guy, who looked like a sweet old man was probably a customer, and he was seated in the second chair.

Our flashy entrance caused the two bodyguards to step immediately in front of Rocco, drawing their guns. I noticed that buzz cut moved a fraction of a second faster than tattoo dude.

I don't know why but I felt like that bit of information would come in handy sometime in the very near future.

The balding old man shot to his feet, and he wore an expression of pure shock and fear.

The only person who didn't move was Rocco. He sat comfortably in his chair and smiled wolfishly at Sam.

"Well, well, well officer. It took you long enough to find me" he drawled while motioning the bodyguards to step back.

After exchanging looks, buzz cut and tattoo dude stepped back simultaneously, and replaced their guns in the waistband of their jeans.

I snuck a look at Sam to see what his next move was. To my surprise, he straightened and put his gun back in its holster and motioned for me to do the same. Not just a little reluctant to do so, I put my gun back.

"What took you so long to find me Sam? Family problems?" He said the last part like he knew something and was referring to it specifically.

A muscle worked in Sam's jaw but other than that, his face remained passive.

"Not really, I've been busy around the station lately."

I controlled my face not to show the shock I was feeling towards the fact that they were conversing like old friends instead of like a cop and a bad guy. I could tell that the old man was thinking the same thing.

Sam seemed to look at ease, but I couldn't seem to drop my guard. I found myself noticing every small movement that the four men in the room were making. Well make that five men because even during an op, I couldn't stop myself from noticing every breath that Sam took.

* * *

I could see the physical exertion that she was putting into trying to understand what was going on. She looked quite a bit like a deer caught in headlights, it was fairly amusing.

Remembering what we were here for in the first place, I turned my complete attention back to Daffanzo... or as much of my attention as I could.

"So, 100 bucks says that I can guess what's in that briefcase."

Daffanzo grinned, and exposed two gold teeth amongst a bunch of pearly white ones.

"Why don't we double those stakes? Just for the fun of it. And while we're at it, while don't you tell your pretty little partner to relax? She looks a bit... antsy." I could see his beady little eyes zero in on Andy and I felt a faint sensation begin in the bottom of my stomach.

I snuck a quick look at McNally, and indeed, she had tensed up and her eyes were wheeling like a cornered animal.

The surprising urge to sooth her shocked me and made me want to strangle her for putting that urge in me in the first place.

"She's a Rookie. She's been trained to anticipate everything." Without fully registering that I did so, I moved so that I was slightly putting myself between her and Daffanzo.

Whether she noticed or not, Daffanzo did. He raised a thick eyebrow at my subconscious movement, and grinned.

"So she's a rookie eh? _Just_ a rookie?" He said it almost mockingly, eyes bouncing between the two of us. "A very pretty rookie nonetheless." He began to get up off his chair, both his bodyguards shifting as well, and both Andy and I tensed.

He slowly walked to where Andy and I were standing.

"But don't you think it's a bit too early? Especially after..." he trailed off and took another step towards us, this time veering off in Andy's direction.

I had to physically restrain myself from moving directly in front of her. I wouldn't want to give Daffanzo a bigger advantage than the one he already seemed to have.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" I said cautiously, schooling my face not to show any emotion.

"Oh really" he said then stepped closer to her.

I saw the change happen in her face. I saw her eyes widen as her stance became defensive and her hand twitched towards her weapon, a move that both bodyguards registered and mimicked.

_Please_, I silently prayed to god, _please don't let her do anything stupid_.

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_**So thats the end of chapter 2. I hope you liked it. chapter 3 is on the way!**_

_**comment please!**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Heres chapter 3 people!**

**i already have chapter 4 planned out in my head and i hope to get it out to you guys tomorrow!**

**Rookie Blue and its concepts do not belong to me.  
**

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_Focus. Focus. Focus. Focus Andy. _I chanted to myself.

I knew that if I gave in to the emotions threatening to break through, I was going to do something I'd regret later.

But the cagey feelings of fear and despair were resting at the surface, clouding my mind.

_Act like a cop, McNally. _Sam's words floated into my mind, the voice in my head strangely comforting.

I took a deep breath and focused on the man standing right in front of me.

"Yes really" I heard Sam respond. I wanted so badly to look at him, to look at that oddly reassuring face, but my cop instincts told me otherwise.

Rocco stopped less than a foot away from me. If I were to reach out, I would be able to touch him. Ew.

"Oh Sam" Rocco murmured. "How could you forget so soon? Last I saw you, I was positive that it was something you could never forget" he shifted his gazed from me to Sam, who had gone completely still.

"I guess I was wrong." He whispered. The silky sound sending goose bumps down my skin. Instantly I was afraid.

The whole room was silent; the only audible sound was the old man's gasping breaths.

Sam's voice eventually broke the silence. "Yeah I guess you were."

I couldn't help it, I flinched, as did the old man.

My movement brought Rocco's attention back to me. He grinned.

"Jumpy, aren't you?" he said mockingly. "Tell me, how good can a jumpy cop be?"

"She's as good as she needs to be" Sam replied before I could even form an answer in my head. I risked a quick glace in his direction. He was unnaturally pale, and it made me anxious to know that whatever was going on here, it made him worried.

He was looking subtly back and forth between the two bodyguards and Rocco. To the casual onlooker, he seemed to be assessing his surroundings, but I knew him better than the casual onlooker.

He looked as if he was anticipating all of hell to break loose. I couldn't help feeling that all hell breaking loose would be easier to deal with than whatever was going on right now.

"She is, is she?" he drawled and raised his hand towards my face. Instinctively, I took a step back and reached for my gun. Buzz cut and tattoo dude instantly shifted as well, as did Sam, who took a small step in my direction.

Rocco's arm dropped back to his side as he laughed.

Did he think that all of this was _funny? _God, the man was wacked.

I could hear my heart pounding in my chest and I was pretty sure everyone else could as well.

"Well Sam, since you seemed to have forgotten about our last meeting, why don't I revive your memory?" And with that, he reached for me again, grabbing me behind the head to pull me closer to him.

I instantly pulled my gun out and pressed it to his chest.

And _that_ was when all of hell broke loose.

* * *

I watched as Daffanzo grabbed Andy behind the head, dragging her to him. That bit of contact was enough to make me want to empty all my rounds into him.

But as if that wasn't bad enough, I watched in masked horror as she pulled out her gun and put it to his chest.

But before I could do anything about that, Tweedledum and Tweedledum er were on the move.

They had drawn their guns (which was illegal, but then again, not that these guys gave a shit) and advanced to where Andy was still standing with a gun to Daffanzo's chest.

As the cop in me took over I moved in front of Andy and Rocco, drawing my own weapon. From the corner of my eye, i could see that the panicked old man had plastered himself against a wall.

And through it all, Rocco was laughing. Sadistic son of a bitch.

"Cops are so volatile" he laughed. "You really don't want to mess with me sweetheart" he said while looking pointedly at the weapon she held to his chest.

"I don't? Funny, because last time I checked, I did." She said in a steely voice that only wavered a bit. Even as I admired her for it, I wanted to smack her for pouring fuel into the fire.

"Ok" I said loudly. "Why don't we all just calm down? Let's start, Daffanzo, by telling your guard dogs to sit."

I don't think the two men took being called "guard dogs" too well, because they both rushed at me at the same time, guns raised.

"Sam!" I heard Andy's panicked voice calling my name as if to inform me of the oncoming duo. Did she really think that I didn't realize the two of them coming at me? Kinda hard to miss, princess.

I crouched low and rushed at one of the two men, the one with a buzz cut. As I tackled him to the floor, I shot out one of my legs to trip the other.

"Sam!" Andy's voice called again. The hysteria in it evident.

It really bruised my ego to have her doubt my ability to take these two down singlehandedly. It made me want to prove her wrong.

And that, I realized, was where I made my first mistake; never go in with a personal agenda.

I guess that's what started the rapid downward spiral of the evening.

I should have known to keep my thoughts in check, because if I did, I would have seen this coming.

_Bang! Bang!_

_

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**Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!**

**i had a wonderful time writing it in a completely AC'd library surrounded my my most favourite things.. BOOKS! lol**

**Review and comment everyone**

**and chapter 4 tomorrow. :)**

**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Ok so heres chapter 4. and like i said. i've already got everything planned out and now its just a matter of typing it all out.**_

_**i hope to get ya'll chapter 5 by tomorrow.**_

_**this chapter is a bit different from my usual style. I usually do the section of Andy's POV and the section of Sam's POV.**_

_**This time i did it all in Andy's POV. Hope you like it!**_

_**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.  
**_

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_Bang! Bang!_

Andy's heart stopped in her chest.

"Sam! Sam!" it was all she seemed to be able to choke out of her suddenly thick throat.

I tried desperately to look around Rocco to see who had fired the shot, and more importantly, if they had hit the intended target.

All I could see was a tangle of limbs on the floor. What I could make out was Sam positioned on top of one of them, the one with the buzz cut. The other one, with the tattoo was laying close-by.

He was lying on his stomach, not moving. I couldn't even tell if he was breathing or not.

And, oh God, there was blood on the ground. Whose blood I wasn't sure, but blood none the less. What if that blood was Sam's?

After all, there _were _two shots fired, and one professionally placed bullet could take down a man the size of tattoo dude.

And Sam was as professional as it got.

But still, the lingering uneasiness made my heart clench.

_Please let Sam be okay, _a voice said in my head. A panicked quite one.

_Focus! _Said another, much sterner than the first. And that was the voice I forced myself to listen to. Sam did _not _need a hysterical rookie to deal with on top of everything.

"I'm fine." A voice suddenly grunted out. My heart resumed its slightly erratic rhythm once I heard his voice.

_He was okay._ I said to myself. Of course he was wrestling with the struggling guard under him, but at least he was okay.

_Now focus Andy. Show him you're a good cop. _

"What about those shots?" I asked.

"Don't worry about those right now McNally. We have more pressing matters to address."

As if his words had just reminded me of where we were, I looked at the man I was currently holding a gun point.

He was grinning down at me, and though the man was old enough to be my father, the look was anything _but_ paternal.

It Kinda hurt my ego to know that he wasn't afraid of me at all.

"Just a rookie, right Sam?" said Rocco, sounding slightly amused. "She cares quite a lot for someone who's just a rookie."

"He's my _partner_" I ground out before Sam could comment. "Of course I care if he's alive or not."

Fear was replaced by my growing anger towards this man, who was making all of this a whole lot worse by saying the stupidest things.

Obviously he was referring to something that concerned Sam specifically and it annoyed me that I didn't know what it was.

And not only was I pissed at the fact that I _hate_ being the only one left out, the look that Rocco's words were putting on Sam's face, no matter how well he tries to hide it, was seriously ticking me off.

This guy needed a hobby. Oh wait. That's why we were here in the first place; he had a hobby that ran on the wrong side of the law.

A grunt and a curse brought me back from my thoughts.

I looked around Rocco to see that the two conscious men were now standing up, with Sam holding a hand to his jaw.

I was assuming that buzz cuts' latest attempt at a swing hit its mark.

The men were now circling like sharks, both of them paying no attention to the still unmoving guard on the ground. Their guns lay forgotten on the floor.

The poor old man, bless his heart, was still standing against the wall in shock looking as though he may pass out, or throw up. Or both.

"That's not it, sugar." Rocco's voice interrupted me. God I _hate _it when Idrift off like that, but I hated it when men, ones old enough to be my father none the less, called me _sugar_ even more.

"It's more than that, I'm surprised you haven't noticed."

"Honestly, I am so _not_ in the mood for your twisted mind games right now. I have no idea what you're talking about." My words were fuelled by the demon inside me begging to pull that trigger.

But I wasn't allowed. You only shoot if you are endangered by said person, and even if you do, it was supposed to be aimed at the legs.

The gun I was holding was most certainly _not_ pointed at his legs.

My shot would kill him, the bullet ploughing straight through the heart. Death was supposed to be last resort, and there was nothing I could say right now to justify a death shot as a _last resort. _

But as I was contemplating all of this, Rocco spoke.

"Debating on whether or not you should shoot me?" he asked, and I cursed myself for being so easily read.

"No, I'm debating where to _put _the bullet." Where I managed to get the courage to say that, I have absolutely no idea. But I liked it.

Riding on it, I looked up and smiled at him.

"Oh really now?" I could see in his eyes how he didn't believe me.

I raised my chin, straightened my back and gripped my gun more firmly in my hand. "Yes"

"You should ask your _partner_," at my blank look he laughed.

"You should ask him about where to put a bullet in order to kill someone, he certainly knows how."

I heard a sharp intake of breath and I looked over Rocco's shoulder to see that Sam had managed to cuff the difficult guard and knock him unconscious.

He was now standing facing us. His face was unnaturally pale. I immediately wanted to go over there and comfort him, but I managed, just barely, to hold myself back.

So many different things were running through my mind. Had Sam killed someone that Rocco knew? Did he watch someone he knew get killed? Was it Rocco who killed them?

So many questions and no answers. It was beginning to bother me.

Rocco had turned to watch Sam as I was. But he was the one who held Sam's gaze. The two men were looking at each other, neither one speaking.

Realizing that my gun wasn't pressed to Rocco's chest anymore, I lowered it, and winced. I hadn't realized how sore my arm had gotten by holding it up for so long.

A small shuffling sound distracted me from my pain and sent a chill down my spine. I wasn't moving neither were Sam or Rocco, who didn't seem to notice the sound at all. Buzz cut was still unconscious and unmoving in my line of view. So it wasn't one of the four of us making that sound.

It most definitely wasn't the old man. So that left—

Before I could even finish the thought, I saw the man with the tattoo shuffle towards the still discarded gun on the floor.

I was so frozen with shock that I didn't, couldn't, say anything even as his hand curled around the weapon.

Sam and Rocco didn't seem to notice it either.

The tattooed guard lifted the gun, positioned it to aim at the back of Sam's head.

Horror lanced through me. I couldn't speak. I couldn't get air to pass through my lungs. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. I couldn't think.

_Sam_ a voice echoed in my head. _Don't let Sam get hurt. DO SOMETHING! _The voice screamed at me.

And so I did.

Since I seemed to have lost my voice completely, I forced my legs to move.

And all of a sudden, everything seemed to move in supersonic speed.

My legs took me to Sam's side without me even registering the motion. Sam turned to me looking startled.

I was standing facing him, my back to the guard, gripping his arms when he decided to shoot.

_Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!_

My body jerked with each shot, but I remained standing. I was pretty sure he stopped shooting only because he ran out of bullets.

I looked up into Sam's face, trying to see past the hazy film that was starting to seep into my vision. But as hazy as it was, I registered his wide eyes and his gapping mouth.

I felt his hands tighten on my arm.

Everything was getting so quiet, a loud ringing was starting in my head.

I was still standing, which was surprising since I thought that I'd go down instantly.

I felt the dull impression of Sam's fingers digging into my flesh. I looked up into his face and wanted to tell him that I'd be fine. But it seemed like too many words to form with my tired mouth.

With and effort, I raised my hand and placed my palm on Sam's cheek. It felt like marble; hard and cold.

My thumb stroked his cheek.

"Sam." I whispered.

And _then_ I collapsed.

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_**So thats chapter 4 for you! Look forward to chapter 5 tomorrow**_

_**enjoy! and comment! **_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**I am soooo sorry that i didnt upload yesterday. i got caught up with other things and i could only start tying this chapter at 9 and finished at about 10 30. and yes, i did miss Rookie Blue :'( but i caught the 12am rerun :)**_

_**it was too late for me to go on the computer to upload and my parents told me no :(**_

_**so here i is today :) and i hope that i can get you chapter 6 today. **_

_**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.  
**_

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_I felt the dull impression of Sam's fingers digging into my flesh. I looked up into his face and wanted to tell him that I'd be fine. But it seemed like too many words to form with my tired mouth._

_With and effort, I raised my hand and placed my palm on Sam's cheek. It felt like marble; hard and cold._

_My thumb stroked his cheek. _

"_Sam." I whispered._

_And then I collapsed._

_

* * *

_My ears were ringing from the sound of the shots. Or maybe I was in shock. I don't know.

It all just happened so fast.

Daffanzo and I were just looking at each other. Not saying anything, not doing anything, just staring.

I don't know what that was all about. But for some reason I couldn't look away from his intense stare.

Just as how I couldn't stop all those images, burned into my brain, from all those years ago from rushing into my head.

I told myself over and over that I was ready to do this. That I was ready to face him again after all those years.

But who was I kidding?

I couldn't do it.

Boyko told me that I could have given the case to someone else. He of course knew about everything that happened.

And me being me, I couldn't give in to the fact that I _just wasn't ready_. I couldn't admit that Samson Swarek wasn't ready for something. That I couldn't do something.

And that's the reason we were here. That's the reason this happened. That's the reason she's hurt.

_I'm the reason she's hurt_.

Oh God.

I didn't even see her move to me, shift me out of the range of the gun.

I was still lost in all the images that seeing Daffanzo brought back. I was looking down into her face but not _seeing_ her.

I wasn't until the shots were fired that I was able to snap out of it.

Those four consecutive shots that rang in the large room producing and audible echo.

I watched Andy's face turn sickeningly pale, her pupils dilate, and felt her grip tighten around my upper arm.

In return, a fist death gripped my heart and I couldn't breathe.

She looked up into my face, with an expression as though she was confused, wondering what just happened. I recognized this as shock.

Everything was moving slowly. Or it seemed like it did to me.

I could hear my own heart pound so loud that I'm sure everyone in that room could hear it.

She slowly raised her hand up to my face. Her fingers were so cold. They were like ice.

She opened her mouth to say something, and it came out in whoosh of air, kinda like she was holding her breath for a long time.

"Sam" she had whispered. That one word seemed to convey so much. It was as though she was telling me that she was going to be ok. For me not to worry. Fat chance.

I could also tell that she didn't regret it. The word had enough behind it that it told me that. But it also told me that she was afraid.

I wanted to make that feeling go away so bad. I never wanted her to be afraid. I never wanted her to be hurt.

And yet I caused her to feel both by being foolish and making a decision to save my pride.

And then she was falling. It was her falling wasn't it?

I couldn't tell, but her hands fell away from my arms, her body fell away from mine, and her eyes broke the connection from mine.

I could see the whites of her eyes as they rolled back in her head, and she was on the ground in the next second. I saw her communicator fall to the floor. I didn't hear it though.

I couldn't move. I just stood there watching her lay crumpled on the floor. My vision was fogging and I worked to clear it as I tried to focus on her.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't. No words came out of my mouth. I didn't utter a single sound.

The room was eerily quiet.

I took a deep breath.

"Andy?" I said. Surprised when I didn't even recognise my own voice.

"Andy?" I repeated, unable to say anything else. I dropped to my knees beside her.

She was lying on her back, her legs folded awkwardly underneath her.

I didn't want to touch her. I didn't want to force myself to find a pulse, to _look_ for a pulse.

I stared down into her pale face. Looked at the shadows her spiky eyelashes were sending across her cheekbones.

On impulse I reached out a shaking hand to brush a strand of her soft hair off her face.

"Andy? Andy?" I couldn't seem to manage to say anything else. The only thing I said was her name. The only thing running through my head was her name. Over and over again like a recording.

"Oh. Well this is inconvenient." The voice startled me and I snatched my hand back from her face.

I slowly tilted my head back to look up at Daffanzo. He was looking at Andy lying on the ground. His voiced sounded bored, but his expression was amused.

I wanted to be mad at him. To do something. But I was still feeling too numb for that.

"I didn't even notice that Royce was conscious again, let alone that he grabbed a gun. I'm... impressed" he drawled in his careless tone. He could have been talking about what he had for lunch for all he cared.

I looked at the man in question. _Royce_. He was now sitting up, obviously with an effort seeing as how there was a bullet probably wedged in his thigh. He was grinning.

I looked at him, but I didn't _see_ him, because I was looking through a haze of red.

Blindly I reached down towards Andy's holster and pulled out her gun. Without thinking about it, I raised it in Royce's direction.

The grin immediately fell off his face.

Somewhere in the back of my head, a small voice told me not to do this. But this small voice was promptly drowned by the big voice telling me that I should.

I took a deep breath then fired.

_Bang!_

The bullet landed right over his heart. He jerked once, just as Andy had four times, and fell back. His arms were splayed and his eyes open and glassy staring at the ceiling.

I released the breath I didn't realized I'd been holding. I set the gun down on the floor next to me. I looked down at Andy's unmoving body once again.

God, she was so pale. Had she always been this pale? No, she hadn't.

I knew that there were two other people in the room. Daffanzo and the old man. But right now, I didn't care at all.

I sat cross legged on the floor.

I reached down and pulled Andy's head onto my lap.

"Andy." I whispered softly, stroking her cheeks gently.

"Andy, wake up." I murmured. "Don't do this. Please don't do this to me."

God, there was so much blood. My clothes and hand were soaked in her blood. I all too clearly reminded me of something else.

"I can't do this again. I can't." "Wake up, wake up, wake up," I chanted over and over again.

"Andy, Andy, Andy, Andy, please, _please_, wake up." I was softly rocking us both back and forth without completely realizing it.

"Andy, do you know how pissed Callaghan is going to be at me if you d-... if you don't wake up" I laughed. Or I tried to, but it came out fairly hysterical.

"And Traci, and Dov, and Chris, and Shaw, and even Gail." "They'll never forgive you for leaving though." "They'll be extremely mad at you. I swear."

I realized that what I was saying was making no sense. I was rambling. On and on, and I couldn't seem to stop myself.

Through all my talking, Andy McNally remained silent.

I held my breath in the attempt to stop my rambling. And a few moments later I let my breath out and bent over to lay my forehead on hers.

"Andy, _please don't leave me_."

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_**Thanks for reading. Comment and Review please!**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22 3  
**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Heres chapter 6 for you guys. and for once i didnt end it on a cliffy. well atleast on completely :)**_

**i might not be able to upload chapter 7 tomorrow :( but i'll get it up as soon as i can. promise.**

**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.**

**Enjoy!  
**

_

* * *

I realized that what I was saying was making no sense. I was rambling. On and on, and I couldn't seem to stop myself._

_Through all my talking, Andy McNally remained silent._

_I held my breath in the attempt to stop my rambling. And a few moments later I let my breath out and bent over to touch my forehead to hers._

"_Andy please don't leave me."_

* * *

I was still holding her and rocking her. I didn't care that Daffanzo wasn't cuffed or that the old man was still probably standing around hyperventilating somewhere.

I was whispering nonsense in her ear, willing her to wake up and look up at me with those big brown eyes.

Rationally, I thought that I should call in paramedics for Andy. That son of a bitch guard didn't need one. He was already dead, I'd made sure of that.

However, I could bring myself to do it. It was as though I was glued to the ground, and I could move my hands away from stroking her face.

I was so caught up with Andy, that I didn't notice the doors bang open.

I faintly heard some shouting.

"Stop! Put your arms out where I can see them." I heard someone call.

Some part of my mind registered that the new comers were cops, cops from 15th because that voice belonged to Jerry.

I didn't look up to confirm my thought though.

I just kept rocking Andy in my arms. Back, and forth, back and forth.

A hand suddenly landed on my shoulder, but I didn't acknowledge it. I just kept rocking and rocking, still murmuring to her in soft tones.

The hand tightened on my arm. "Sam." The voice said, and still I ignored it. I couldn't stop talking to her. I couldn't stop looking down into her deathly pale face.

"Sam." The voice said more firmly. I finally tore my gaze away from her face to look up into Jerry's.

His eyes were dark and shadowed. I could see the unspoken sympathy in his eyes. I didn't need sympathy. I need Andy to be alright. Sympathy doesn't do anything for anyone.

"We need to let the paramedics look at her Sam."

"She'll be fine," I said in a small voice that was shaky.

"Yes she will be, but we still need them to look at her. Just to make sure. Come on Sam. Let the meds look at her."

I looked down at Andy's face again. I knew that he was right. I needed to let the meds look at her. It was just that I couldn't bear to let her go.

I was afraid that if I did let go, she'd never come back.

I took a deep breath. Slowly without a word, I cupped Andy's head and moved it out of my lap and softly onto the floor. I got to my knees and looked down at her, then brushed a strand of glossy brown hair away from her face.

With one last caress to her cheek, I got up on shaky legs.

I didn't was to embarrass myself by falling back down onto the floor. Thankfully, Jerry was there and he put an arm around my shoulder to support my weight.

Without turning around, I could tell that the meds were already on her. I could faintly hear the sounds of her clothes being ripped off so they could find the wounds and slow the bleeding.

The doors banged open again and in ran Williams with Nash.

Nash took one look at my face, then her eyes swooped down to my arms and I could see that they widened.

"Oh my god," she breathed.

I looked down to see what she was looking at, and my stomach twisted at what I saw.

Blood. Andy's blood. All over my arms and hands, and no doubt through my clothes.

I forced my eyes back up to hers and saw the fear in them, and she could undoubtedly see the fear in mine.

"Andy," she said. "Where's Andy?"

I couldn't look her in the eye anymore so I looked away.

"Sam! Where is Andy? What's wrong? What happened? Where is she?" her voice was starting to hitch at the lack of my response.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything, so I just turned at looked behind me where the meds were working on Andy.

She followed my gaze and her eyes widened, and her face turned a different shade.

"Andy! Andy! Oh my god. Andy!" she yelled over and over. She tried to rush over, but Williams caught her by the arm.

"Get a hold of yourself officer. You have to let the paramedics check her out." Though Williams' voice was hard, her eyes moved from Nash to look sympathetically at me.

Nash jerked her arm out of Williams' grip and she rushed up to me.

"What did you do? How could you let her get hurt!" she was screaming at me, and honestly I was asking myself the same question. _How could I let her get hurt?_

Jerry stepped in front of me, putting himself between Nash and me.

"Calm down Traci, this wasn't anyone's fault. Things happen and things go wrong. People get hurt, that's the job. Blaming Sam won't make things any better, so cut it out."

"But it was my fault," I said quietly. "She was my responsibility, and it was my fault she got hurt."

Now Jerry turned to me. "Now don't start," he said to me sternly.

Before he could say more, the paramedics signalled that they were ready to go. I turned and saw Andy secured to a stretcher and my heart lurched.

The meds filed out and the cops followed. I noted from the corner of my eye that the old man was cuffed and was being led to a cruiser by a cop.

I couldn't see Daffanzo and right now i didn't care at all.

They loaded her onto the ambulance and set off towards St. Michaels hospital.

I followed Jerry to his car, but before we got in, he stopped me.

"You should probably go to the station, get your things and go home. You've had a rough day."

Even before he had all the words out, my anger lashed out at him.

"I'm not going anywhere that's not the hospital. I am _not_ going to go home and relax while Andy's fighting for her life because of a stupid mistake that _I_ made."

He started to argue, but saw the look on my face and saw that it would be pointless.

He sighed. "Fine. Let's go. And why don't you fill me in on what happened?"

We got into his car and he drove while I relayed the events to him in a quiet monotone.

Jerry was quiet for a long time. I took a deep breath and sighed.

"She saved my life."

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_**So thats the end of chapter 6. as you can see, it isnt a huge cliffy like my other chapters.**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**So here is the much anticipated chapter 7.**_

_**im so sorry it took forever for me to put this up. i finished it last night but i couldnt put it up until today.**_

_**it was the long weekend so i could find the time to do this earlier. My apologiessssssssssss :)**_

_**hope you like it. enjoy!**_

_**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.  
**_

* * *

Jerry and I sat in stony silence as we made our way through the traffic. Since he didn't have a cruiser, the trip to the hospital was a long and frustrating one.

"She's going to be fine Sam," Jerry broke the silence. "I know what you're thinking. And it's not. It's not like last time. You know it's not."

I sighed.

"Yeah well it sure seems like it to me," I mumbled.

"Sam," he sighed. "When are you going to let that go? There was nothing you could have possibly done to save Ca—"

"I really don't want to talk about that right now," I interrupted. "Right now I just want to get to that Goddamn hospital."

We drifted back into silence for the rest of the trip. The only sound was Jerry's occasional curse at the other drivers.

After what seemed like the longest ride of my life, we finally arrived at the hospital.

Once Jerry parked, we both approached the emergency entrance at a brisk pace.

As soon as we were inside, I rushed to the information counter.

"McNally, Andy. She was admitted a little while ago with gunshot wounds. Where is she? Is she okay?" I interrogated the nurse.

She looked up and down at me with wide eyes, no doubt taking in the blood on my body and clothes.

At the look I gave her, she typed something into the computer on the desk without asking any questions, and looked back up at me.

"Yes, she is admitted. Right now, she's in the emergency operating room. But I can't let you up there, sir." She said, her eyes flitting back and forth from my face to my bloodied body and clothing.

If she was smart, she would have noted the police uniform, but apparently she wasn't.

My temper was already on a short fuse and this woman was doing nothing to work with the problem.

"_You don't get it_," I forced through my clenched teeth. "I _have_ to go up there _right now_."

"I'm sorry sir; access up there is restricted to specific personnel. I can't let you go up there."

Was she _serious?_ I was a cop; nothing was "restricted" to a cop. Sensing my tension, Jerry put a restraining hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry Ms..." he looked down at her name tag, "Ms. Harnslow, but we_ are_ with the 15th division police department," he pointed out, just in case she missed it. "We need to get up to see Ms. McNally."

The uncertain look on her face was being to frustrate me.

She looked up at me, then at Jerry. Her gaze returned to me as she took in the blood, and the uniform, once again, then nodded.

"Okay. Ms. McNally is on the 2nd floor. The elevators are to your right down that hall over there," she pointed to our right.

"Once you're on the 2nd floor, just follow the signs pointing to the Emergency Operating rooms. She's in room 4E. You won't be able to go in, but you can talk to the surgeons there," she finished sternly.

I immediately took off in the direction of the elevators. I heard Jerry mutter a "thank you" and then I heard his footsteps following me.

I pushed the button to call the elevator and I began to fidget in impatience.

I felt eyes on me and I turned in Jerry's direction. I met his gaze for a second before he looked away.

"Calm down Sam. You need to be thinking clearly to get through this. You need it for you and for Andy. So take a deep breath and calm down."

I sighed deeply as we stepped into the elevator that just opened. I knew what he was saying was making sense, but how could I stay calm?

All these emotions that I never wanted to feel, never thought I could feel _again_, were picking _right now_ to emerge.

It was impossible for me to stay calm, but I had to try for Andy's sake. I just had to.

"I never thought I'd have to do this again," I said quietly.

Jerry put a hand on my shoulder. "Yeah, neither did I. I'm sorry man."

I looked over at him. We've been friends for as long as I could remember. We went to school together, and we went to the academy together. He knew me better than anyone, so naturally he knew about Camille too.

"Me too," I said softly.

The elevator slid open once it reached the second floor. Jerry and I excited the together passing by two nurses who looked questioningly at the blood on me.

The uniform however, kept the prying questions away.

Jerry and I stalked down the hallway, following the signs that would lead us to room 4E.

It was the room at the very end of the empty hallway.

Once we reached 4E, we stood outside the two large double doors. We remembered the nurses' warning that we couldn't go in.

On any other circumstance, I wouldn't have cared, but this time, it was Andy in that operating room. It was Andy on that operating table fighting for her life.

There wasn't anything that I would do to jeopardize her safety... again. So I stood against the wall as Jerry walked towards the door and peered through the little window.

I didn't want to go anywhere near that window. I didn't want to see what was going on in there.

Jerry suddenly stepped back from the door as it opened and one of the surgeons came out, probably after being warned by the nurse at the counter about us.

"I'm Dr. Reinfrew. You're here about Ms. McNally, am I correct?" he said to us.

"Yes we are," answered Jerry in a calm voice that I never could have managed right now. "How is she doing?"

"We don't know as of right now," he answered and my heart squeezed in my chest. "We only managed to retrieve 2 of the four bullets. The team is working on locating and removing the 3rd as we speak."

"Our main concern was the bullet that entered at the base of her neck. That is the 4th bullet we have yet to check on. There weren't any exit wounds so we know that the bullets stayed in her body. Our concern is that the bullet may have caused some sort of trauma to her brain."

Hearing him say that made my heart pound painfully in my chest.

"What about the other bullets?" I heard Jerry ask.

"Well considering the possible damage done to her brain, the other wounds are nothing. The first bullet grazed the top of her left lung, we were lucky that I didn't puncture it. The 2nd bullet however did slightly puncture her right lung."

"That _is_ a major concern for us. The 3rd bullet penetrated her diaphragm, but luckily it went through it completely. That makes it easier to remove. Again, we are hoping that the 4th bullet didn't do much damage to the brain because considering all the other damage done to her body, the strain placed on her brain and heart is a big one. "

With every sentence that came from his mouth, my heart just kept sinking lower and lower. _Those bullets were meant for me_. I thought helplessly.

"Hopefully we—" the surgeon began but before her could finish there was a loud sound that came from the operating room.

The door flew open and another aid came out. Inside the operating room, the others were moving around the room in a hurry.

"Doctor we need you in here right now." The young lady said in a rushed voice.

The expression on her face made my insides flip upside down.

The doctor turned away from us and hurried into the room after the aid.

As the doors were swinging shut, we heard one of the doctors' voices' raise above all the other sounds, and my heart stopped completely.

"_We're losing her."

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_

**I'll try to get chapter 8 up later today. Comment and review!**

**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8 everybodyyyyyyy!**_

_**hope you like it! **_

_**cant WAIT for RB epi 6 TONIGHT! im hoping for a little Sam/Andy spark thing to happen.  
**_

_**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me. Enjoy!  
**_

* * *

"_Doctor we need you in here right now." The young lady said in a rushed voice._

_The expression on her face made my insides flip upside down._

_The doctor turned away from us and hurried into the room after the aid._

_As the doors were swinging shut, we heard one of the doctors' voices' raise above all the other sounds, and my heart stopped completely._

"_We're losing her."_

* * *

It hurt to breathe.

At first I thought that I had imagined it. But the look on Jerry's face told me that I hadn't.

As the doors swung shut, I rushed to the window.

Inside, the doctors were huddling around Andy on the operating table. There was blood everywhere but that was forgotten as they tried to revive her.

To the right, Andy's heart monitor was barely spiking while my own heart was pounding loudly in my chest.

At that moment, I realized that I would have done anything to reverse our positions. If there was a way to take my own pounding pulse and give it to her, I would have done it without a second thought.

All of a sudden, there was a loud beep and Andy's heart monitor went flat. I felt as though my legs wouldn't hold me up as I was watching this.

Immediately the doctors prepared the paddles to try to jolt her heart back.

"_Clear!"_ I heard someone call before the paddles came down on Andy's chest.

Her body twitched as the shock was delivered, but the line stubbornly stayed flat.

I was beginning to panic.

What if they couldn't bring her back? What if she _died_? It would be my fault. All my fault. I put her there. This was my fault. My fault, my fault, my fault, my fa—

"We got her!" I heard someone yell the blessed words.

I brought my attention back and focused on the heart monitor that was now spiking with a steady rhythm.

I exhaled deeply. She was okay... for the moment.

Suddenly one of the doctors turned around to see me looking though the window and he motioned for me to leave.

I didn't want to, but I decided that the doctors would do much better if they didn't have me to worry about. So I backed away from the door and ran into Jerry who was standing right behind me this whole time.

He steadied me so i wouldn't topple over.

"She's a fighter Sam. You told me so yourself," he said to me in a soft voice.

I nodded. I had said that about her. And she was. She was a true fighter.

As we moved back against a wall, a nurse came through the doors at the end of the hall.

"Are you two here for Andy McNally?" she asked, and we both nodded.

"You can go wait in waiting room C. There are other people in there waiting for her as well. Once the doctors have something to tell you, they will come to the waiting room."

Instead of arguing with her, I nodded and moved in the direction she pointed us to.

The waiting room was all the way at the other end of the hall and down another corridor. We saw room G, F, E, D, and finally C.

We stepped inside to find Officer Shaw, Williams, and Boyko already there. Nash was also there with Epstein. She was pacing back and forth impatiently in the large waiting room.

When we entered, she rushed over to us.

"Did you see her? How is she? Is she ok? Where is she? Can I see her?" she fired a million questions at me and I didn't feel like answering them.

She looked as though she was going to cry though. Seems like she reached her breaking point. Funny, I'm pretty sure I have too.

Before I could attempt to answer at least one of her questions, Jerry moved in from behind me and took her shoulders.

"Traci, we don't know much right now. We have to trust the doctors to do the best they can for Andy," he said soothingly to her.

Traci's bottom lip trembled. "But what if their best isn't good enough?"

"Traci, you have to stay strong for Andy. She _will_ be alright. You have to believe that she will be. That's all we can do for now."

Traci nodded and she and Jerry moved off sit together in the corner.

I slowly made my way to one of the blue chairs closest to me and sank down into it. Boyko and Shaw were next to me in an instant.

Boyko placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I know this looks bad Sam, but she will get through this, and so will you."

"That's what I thought the last time, and you do remember where that got me didn't you?" I snapped at him without really meaning to.

He held my eyes for a long time without saying anything. After a while I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry for that. None of this was your fault. You told me not to go, but I had to be a hard headed son of a bitch and not listen."

"No. It's alright. I understand that this is hard for you, especially after last time. I'm sorry that you have to go through this all over again."

"Yeah Sam," Shaw added. "I never in a million years thought that it would happen again, and in the same way too."

I blew out a breath. "Yeah, and like last time, all I can do is sit here and wait."

"Epstein!" Shaw called and the rookie came over. "Make a quick coffee run at the downstairs Tim Horton's. Three blacks for us. Ask the others what they want as well."

The rookie got the rest and hurried downstairs.

"He was with me when I found out what happened. I didn't have time to drop him off at the Barn so I brought him along."

I nodded.

"So," Boyko began. "You wanna tell us what happened?"

I sighed, but I did relay the events, it was what I was trained to do. Make reports of accidents.

It was after I had finished that I realized that the rest of the room was quietly listening as well. Epstein had show up mid-story with the coffee, and my barely touched cup was still in my hands.

No one said anything about the incident after that. They all tried to think about something else began to talk about other things.

Another two hours went by with us not hearing anything from the doctors.

Finally we heard a knock on the door and I looked up to see Dr. Reinfrew walk in. I immediately stood up and walked to him. Everyone else stayed in their seats since they could still hear what he was saying.

"We have finally got all the bullets out of Ms. McNally, and we have treated her for her internal wounds. The lung wounds troubled us a bit so we're keeping a close watch for any signs of a hemorrhage. Unfortunately, as we expected, the 4th bullet did cause trauma to the brain. That, combined with all the other trauma caused to her body has put her heart and brain under a great strain. As a result, some of her organs began to shut down."

My heart clenched and I heard Traci gasp.

"Since our main priority is to keep her alive, we had to medically induce a coma to keep her stable."

"W-wait," I stammered. "Are you telling me that Andy... that s-she's..."

"Yes,_ Andy is in a coma_."

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_**soooooo i hope you liked it.**_

_**Comment and review**_

_**RB TONIGHT! yay :)**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**okie dokie. here is chapter 9 of all of ya'll.**_

**and let me just say that i was MAJORLY frustrated at the end of yesterdays epi. i mean COME ONNNNNNNNNN. they were sooo close to fully admitting that they felt something for eachother. and the lights just HAD to come on and Luke just HAD to call and Andy just HAD to ruin it -_- urggggggggggg next week better have something really good in it like... oh like Andy breaking up with Luke. that would be AMAZING. as you can tell, im hating on Luke right now -_-**

**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.**

**Enjoy!  
**

_

* * *

My heart clenched and I heard Traci gasp._

"_Since our main priority is to keep her alive, we had to medically induce a coma to keep her stable."_

"_W-wait," I stammered. "Are you telling me that Andy... that s-she's..."_

"_Yes, Andy is in a coma." _

* * *

I was hearing this high pitched ringing in my head.

_Coma?_

Didn't bad things happen to people in comas? Oh god. She's in a coma because of _me._

I realized that I was opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water and worked to say something.

"I... but she... I...coma?" I didn't manage to make much sense of my words.

I felt a hand slightly pull me backwards and into a chair. Instinctively, I tried to push the person away and get back to the doctor who had the answers to the questions I couldn't voice.

The person however, had a good grip on me and forced me down again. I looked up into the cool eyes of Boyko.

"Just sit down for a minute, you hear me?" he said. "Just sit down and let us figure out what we can." I started to argue, but he cut me off.

"You'll get nothing done with the stammering that's coming out of your mouth right now. You may as well sit down and let us ask the questions that we know you want to ask yourself."

Again, I felt as though _I _should be the one to ask the doctor the questions and I began to say so, but again I got cut off and this time, the voice was stern with authority.

"Sam Swarek, you stay in this chair until I tell you otherwise. That's an _order_."

Years of working with him had me shutting up and sitting down.

He gave me one last look and moved back to the doctor who was now talking to Jerry and Oliver.

I looked across the room to see Traci being comforted by Epstein and Williams.

I exhaled loudly and dropped my head into my hands.

Andy is in a coma. A _coma_ for crying out loud. I heard that it could take patients _ages_ to wake up from one. That is if they wake up at all.

The panicked voice in my head was drowning out the practical one telling me that people _do_ wake up from comas and it could happen in a very short time.

That voice was also telling me that she was _alive_. At least she's not dead, she's still alive and breathing.

But honestly, what is better? Being dead or being a vegetable for the rest of your life?

I could still clearly remember my grandmother telling me all those years ago how she decided to let my grandpa go after him being in a coma for a week.

She had said that she would rather have him happy in heaven then half alive in a hospital bed. Was she right? Well not the 'happy in heaven' part, but the 'better letting go then being half alive in a hospital bed' part.

No. No she wasn't.

I decided then and there that even if it took all of forever, I would never give up on Andy. I would never 'let her go'.

I couldn't let her leave, I could never do that. It may be selfish but I didn't care. I let someone leave all those years ago, I'm not going to make the same mistake twice.

God, when had I gotten so mushy? With all of this 'I'm never letting go' and the sudden epiphanies and the clashing feelings inside of me.

I didn't want to admit it, but it was inevitable. I felt something for her. I _feel_ something for her. Something I've only felt once before. Something I swore to myself that I would never feel again. Never let myself feel again.

But there it was, like a slap in the face. It wasn't easy to ignore. I didn't have to do anything about it, but it was time that I admitted it.

Not to her of course. That would be a stupid move on my part, one of the many I have made just recently.

She's with Luke anyway. She wouldn't want me when she has 'Mr. Perfect'. She said so herself, he was everything every woman could ever want in a man.

I've never been that. Everything a woman could want? Nope. I've never been that, and I never could be that even if I tried.

I didn't have Luke's perfect face or perfect smile or perfect charm. I couldn't flirt effortlessly like he could and I couldn't draw women like magnets like he does so well.

Why would Andy even consider someone else, let alone me, when she has all of that?

Now that's what you call wishful thinking.

Besides, she seems to be happy with him, not that she actually shares details of her relationship with me.

In fact, every time I bring him up, she kind of mumbles an answer and changes the subject. Obviously relationships aren't her strongest point.

But then again, they weren't mine either

I have tried to tell myself that I'm around her all the time because she was my rookie and I was a good training officer, but that was a lie.

I'm around her because I want to be. Being around her just makes me... happy.

The thought of not having that anymore was frightening. Yes, the high and mighty Sam Swarek is afraid. Afraid of losing someone who is so important to me.

I didn't like being afraid. It was a weakness. Something that was a strike against you. I'm not weak, and yet I'm afraid for Andy's life.

And besides this whole thing was _my fault_. As much and everyone told me it wasn't, they knew it was. _I _know it was.

How is it any fair that I'm out here with barely a scratch while my rookie was in there in a coma? How does any of that make sense?

How am I going to sleep at night knowing that Andy is lying alone in some dark room in an uncomfortable hospital bed?

How was I going to look at her, knowing that I caused her so much pain?

I couldn't. I just couldn't bring myself to see her like that. Unmoving on a hospital bed with tubes and wires coming out of her.

I couldn't do that, I just couldn't. I couldn't sit there talking to her not knowing if she could hear me or not. Not knowing if she'll wake up and remember anything. Not knowing if she'll wake up at all.

I couldn't handle that. Now right now, even though part of me longed to see her, to touch her, to have some sort of contact with her.

I was afraid that if I saw her, that I would break down and just lose it all together.

I raised my head to see Traci standing next to Epstein with Jerry. Dr. Reinfrew and Boyko were still talking in hushed tones while Williams and Oliver stood nearby.

I slumped back I the chair shaking my head.

God, I hope this is all just a really really bad nightmare, and that I'd wake up and Andy would be alright. But the sinking feeling in my gut told me that this was no dream, this was really. It was really happening.

I raised my eyes to see Boyko and Dr. Reinfrew walking towards me.

"Officer Swarek," the doctor began. "Would you like to see her?"

* * *

_**mkay. so thats the end of chapter 9. **_

_**look forward to chapter 10 tomorow. fingers crossed. and yay finally in the double digit chapters :)**_

_**aha**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10 people! its the longest chapter yet. the ideas were flowing today so YAY! :)**_

**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.**

**Enjoy!  
**

_

* * *

God, I hope this is all just a really really bad nightmare, and that I'd wake up and Andy would be alright. But the sinking feeling in my gut told me that this was no dream, this was really. It was really happening. _

_I raised my eyes to see Boyko and Dr. Reinfrew walking towards me._

"_Officer Swarek," the doctor began. "Would you like to see her?"_

* * *

"Would you say like to see her?" he repeated.

It took me only a second to answer. "Yes," I said, kind of breathlessly.

"Since only one visitor per patient is allowed in the ICU, I suggest the rest of you wait here until Officer Swarek is back."

The doctor left the room, I didn't know if I was supposed to follow him out so I stayed where I was.

"Go ahead, Sammy," I heard Oliver call.

I forced my feet to move towards the door and through it. Once I was outside the waiting room, I looked up to see a sign pointing in the direction of the ICU.

The sign took me back down the hall and through another corridor. I came to a stop at wide double doors that had 'ICU' in red lettering on the front.

I took a deep breath, mentally preparing myself to see Andy on the other side of those doors.

With another deep breath, I stepped towards the door. And flinched back when the doors slid open. A young lady with bright red hair came running through, covering her face while she sobbed.

She ran headlong into me and almost toppled over. I caught her by the shoulders to steady her. She looked up at me with her red-rimmed eyes.

Behind her, the doors slid shut once again.

I looked down into her face. She had big brown eyes, almost exactly the colour of Andy's. That one similarity made me want to take away whatever made this woman with Andy's eyes cry.

"A-are you okay," I asked.

The lady just shook her head and pulled out of my grip, and ran down the hall.

I stood there watching her go, then turned back to the doors of the ICU.

I stepped up in front of the doors waiting for them to swoosh open again. Once they were, I stepped in.

The ICU was a large room with smaller cubicles created my curtains. There was a lot of beeping and other sounds coming from the various machines in the room.

Nurses and doctors were moving back and forth between patients with clip boards. Other visitors were sitting next to their loved ones.

Some of them were just standing there, not saying anything, either because the patient wasn't awake or there simply wasn't anything to say.

Was that what I was going to do? Was I just going to stand there looking at her face while she looked as though she was sleeping?

I took another deep breath and looked around to see if I could find her familiar face.

I turned to my left and walked all the way down to the end of the room seeing if I could find her bed. Once I realized that she wasn't on this side, I moved to the other.

I was nearing the end of the room once again when I finally saw her.

She was in the cubicle at the very end of the room. She was lying in a hospital bed with white sheets. Her skin was so pale that it almost matched the sheets.

There was an IV in her right arm, and other wires were coming from her body as well. To her left, a heart monitor showed the steady spike of her heartbeat.

My mind flashed back to the moment in the operating room where that line went flat. I suppressed a shiver at the memory.

Her chest under the sheet was rising and falling as if to confirm that she was indeed breathing.

I moved up to the head of the bed, closer to her face. She looked so peaceful so _innocent_. She wore an expression that rivalled the innocence of a newborn.

She looked so small in that bed. So tiny, so fragile. So beautiful.

I was afraid that if I touched her, I would break her. And still, my hand moved from my side reaching towards her face. But before my hand could make contact, there was a voice behind me.

"So, Officer Swarek I-,"

"Call me Sam," I interrupted.

He nodded. "Sam I understand that you probably want to ask me some questions for yourself. This would be a good time for you to do so."

I swallowed thickly.

"I um," I cleared my throat. "I want to know when she'll wake up."

Dr. Reinfrew nodded. "That's usually the first question they ask. Unfortunately, I always have the same answer; we don't know."

"It's almost impossible to know when or _if_ the patient will wake up. Of course we hope that it will happen so; within a week or so. But sometimes, that's not the case."

"Sometimes, the patients don't wake up for a long time. Sometimes, they don't wake up at all. That of course would be a worst case scenario. We are hoping that Andy will wake up. And soon. The odds are with her."

"She's mending quite well. She really is quite the fighter."

I looked down at her. "Yeah," I murmured. "She is."

I looked back up at him. "So, um, how long is she going to be in here?"

"We have to keep her in here for 24 hours to keep a close eye on her. After that, we'll move her to either a private or semi-private room. Which would you prefer?"

"Private," I answered immediately. "A private room please."

"That can be arranged. So after the 24, we'll move her into her room. Then the visiting hours are the same as any other patient. I'll give you the hours later."

"How about the bullet wounds? How are those healing?"

"Well from what we see, she's mending very well. Since she's in very good physical condition, the healing process is going just as it should. We are expecting a full recovery in that department. All she'll have left from the bullets are scars."

And those scars won't make her any less beautiful, I thought.

"So will she be perfectly fine when she wakes up?"

"We are hoping she will be. The sooner she does wake up, the less impact it will have on her body."

At the confused expression on my face, he explained.

"The longer she's in a coma, the longer she's lying still in that bed. That means that her muscles will become stiff."

"So the longer that she goes without moving or stretching them, the more stiff they become, and she'll need more intense physiotherapy."

"It will be harder for her to do the things she did before, just like she used to. I'm not saying she won't be able to do them, I'm saying that it will take more of an effort."

Well then I hope she wakes up soon.

"So if she wakes up soon, she won't need physio?"

"No, she probably will still need at least a little bit of physio, but for a shorter period. She probably won't be fully ready to resume field work for a month after she wakes up, but we'll have to wait and see."

I sighed with relief. Now I just really needed her to wake up.

"Any more questions?"

I swallowed loudly.

"Can she hear me?"

"Well we believe that she can. Patients feel comforted when they hear familiar voices, and it can actually help them get better sooner.

"Oh."

"So, any more questions?"

I looked down at Andy, focusing on her pale face. "No, not right now."

"Well if you have any later on, you can find me. I'll be happy to answer any questions you have."

I nodded distractedly.

Dr. Reinfrew moved closer and placed a hand on my shoulder. "She's strong," he said softly. "You have to be strong for her too." And with that he patted my shoulder and left, pulling the curtain closed as he went.

I brought my hand up and brushed a stray strand of hair from her face, and let my hand rest lightly on her soft cheek, my thumb stroking back and forth gently.

"Andy," I murmured softly. "Can you hear me?" I got no response.

"Andy, I... I lo—"

Before I could finish my sentence, I was interrupted by someone yanking the curtain open.

_Callaghan.

* * *

_

**As you can tell with the cliffy, i channeled my frustration with Luke from this weeks epi to my story. **

**yea i am totally frustrated with the ending of episode 7 -_- hopefully episode 8 will be betterrrr :)**

**hope you liked it!**

**Comment and Review!**

**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 11 people!**_

_**And yes, im still channeling my end of episode 6 Luke frustration here.**_

_**wat can i say. im frustrated! lol**_

_**annnyyyways. Enojy!**_

_**oh and Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.  
**_

* * *

"_Andy," I murmured softly. "Can you hear me?" I got no response._

"_Andy, I... I lo—"_

_Before I could finish my sentence, I was interrupted by someone yanking the curtain open._

_Callaghan._

* * *

The curtains were still billowing around him as he stood there glaring at me.

His eyes dropped to the bed and he was glaring intently at something. I looked down as well, trying to figure out what it was. And then I realized what it was.

My hand was still resting on Andy's cheek, and he was looking at it pointedly. Well isn't someone a wee bit jealous, I thought smugly.

I knew he didn't like that my hand was there, and so I kept it there. I knew it was somewhat childish to do so, but whatever.

I brought my eyes back to Callaghan's and quirked an eyebrow.

"Can I help you, Callaghan?" I asked, schooling my voice to sound somewhat like an adult talking to an annoying kid.

"Yeah you can, _Swarek_," he answered snidely. "What the hell did you do to my _girlfriend?_"

I hated that he had that leverage over me. She was his girlfriend. That was a fact, no matter how much I wish it was otherwise.

"I didn't do anything to _Andy_," I said, purposely avoiding addressing her as his girlfriend.

"Well then _officer_, what did happen to her?" he asked impatiently.

"That's none of your business," I answered, the smugness very evident in my voice. "You have nothing to do with this."

"Like hell it isn't!" he exploded. "She's _my_ girlfriend, so it _is_ my business. I don't know why you think it's any of yours!"

"Well she's _my_ rookie, and _I'm _the one who was with her when it happened. We were _together_ when it happened, I was _there_. So it's my business!" I exclaimed.

Subconsciously, I realized that this conversation was getting quite loud, and that the others around us would probably be able to hear us.

"So you admit that this was your fault? If you were there, shouldn't you have been watching out for her?" he sneered.

Well I could say anything to that, he was right. I should`ve been watching out for her.

Before I could come up with something smart to say, a third voice was added to the loud conversation.

"Is there a problem here?" asked a male voice.

I looked over Callaghan`s shoulder to see Dr. Reinfrew standing there giving me a pointed look.

"No," I answered to him.

"Well then I suggest that the two of you keep it down. There are other patients close by, and you have to be considerate towards them."

"And only one person per patient is allowed to be in the ICU. One of you will have to leave. Who is it going to be gentlemen?" he asked, looking from me to Callaghan and back.

"Well Andy`s my girlfriend and I`d like to be with her. Besides, I`m sure that Sam would like a chance to get a change of clothes. They`re all bloody, are you hurt?" he asked with fake concern.

"It's alright," I said with forced calm. "I`m okay with staying with her, and the blood isn't mine. I`m not hurt, but thanks for asking," I added with a pleasant smile for Callaghan while I mentally cursed him for being so freaking perceptive.

"Actually," Dr. Reinfrew began. "I think that you should be checked out Sam," before I could argue, he continued.

"The majority of that blood may not be yours, but it would be a good idea for you to be checked up just in case."

A huge grin appeared on Callaghan`s face. I wanted to punch it right off, but I managed to keep myself in check.

"That`s a good idea, I'll stay with her while you`re gone."

I ground my teeth in the attempt to stop myself from saying something inappropriate in the vicinity of other patients.

I realized that I may as well give in. Just because Callaghan was acting like a kid didn't mean I had to as well.

"Fine," I said stiffly. "Where do I go?" I asked Dr. Reinfrew.

"Go back in the direction of waiting room C. From there you should be able to see the elevators. Go to the 3rd floor. Once you`re there, follow the signs to Examination Room A."

He pulled out a notepad from his pocket and scribbled something on it. He then ripped the page off the pad and handed it to me.

"Give this to the person at the desk. Once you`re done, just follow the signs back here."

I looked down at the page in my hand. I couldn't read what it said. Doctor scribble. Figures.

Without saying anything else, I stuffed the paper into my pocket and began to leave.

"Oh, and Sam?" called Dr. Traitor, "you may want to get a change of clothes as well."

I nodded and brushed past a smirking Callaghan to leave the ICU with one glance at Andy. As I was leaving, I turned to see the doctor move to another patient, and Callaghan move to the head of Andy`s bed.

I couldn't look at them anymore so I looked straight and made my way through the doors.

I walked back in the direction of the waiting room. I wouldn't go in however. I`d just walk right by it. I really didn't want to explain to anyone why I had to leave.

As I moved past the waiting room door, Jerry came out and stopped me.

"Where are you going?" he asked me.

"I`m going upstairs to some examination room. Turns out that the doc thinks it's a good idea for me to get a freaking check up."

"I think I already know the answer, but who's with Andy?"

"I`m pretty sure your guess is fairly accurate," I snapped.

There was a quick pause. "Callaghan?" he said quietly.

"Yup. Prince Charming himself has graced us with his freaking presence," I said without humour. "I wonder how charming he`d be with a black eye," I said darkly.

Jerry grimaced.

"Yea, he came by the waiting room and was here long enough to get on Traci`s case about Andy. I was pretty close to decking him myself."

We both walked towards the elevators.

"Speaking of Traci, how`s she doing?"

"Well she's really bent over the fact that Andy`s in a coma. She's really anxious to see her. She was just telling me that she`s going to kick Luke out of the ICU to see Andy."

I gave a dry laugh.

"I was actually thinking the opposite. I was entertaining the idea of putting Callaghan _in _the ICU. Not as a visitor though."

Jerry snorted. "You`re one of a kind, Swarek," he said as he slapped my back.

We got on the elevator as it binged open.

"I bet," I said, my mood lightening slightly. A thought then struck me,

"How did he find out anyway?"

"Word travels fast at the barn. He probably heard it from someone, then high-tailed it over here to be everyone`s pain in the ass."

"Yea..." I trailed off. "But in a way, I guess I'm glad he interrupted when he did."

"Why do you say that?"

The elevator binged open and we got off.

"I almost told Andy that I loved her."

* * *

_**dun dun duuuunnnnn :P**_

_**well its not a cliffy, but it just gets more and more frustrating doesnt it?**_

_**its all in the master plan duckies ;P**_

_**ahhha well cant wait fer chapter 12. till then**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12. comeeee anddd get itttt! lollz**_

_**so. when i started this chapter, i really wasnt into it. and it was kinda lagging. hopefully you dont notice it in my writing. i just had an insane day at the camp i volunteer at. so anyway. towards the end however, i really got into it and added some stuff that was purely 'in the moment'. hope u like.**_

_**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.**_

_**Enjoy!  
**_

* * *

"_Yea..." I trailed off. "But in a way, I guess I'm glad he interrupted when he did."_

"_Why do you say that?"_

_The elevator binged open and we got off._

"_I almost told Andy that I loved her."_

* * *

Jerry didn't say anything. He just kept walking along side me as I tried to find signs that would lead me to the goddamn examination room.

I gave him a sidelong glance. "Aren't you surprised to hear me say that?"

"Well yeah, but I'm only surprised because you finally admitted it."

I gave him a questioning look and he smirked at me.

"Sam, come on. Everyone knows that you have a thing for her and it's about time that you admitted it to yourself."

Everyone? Jerry and Oliver, I could understand, but everyone? Since when did I become the hot topic at the barn? Crap.

"Huh. Everyone eh? Since when was everyone into gossiping about me?"

"Since you fell for the person who ruined your 8 months of undercover work," he answered smoothly.

I stopped walking and looked over at him again and raised an eyebrow. Jerry stopped walking as well and smirked at me.

We stood there looking at each other for a moment. I gave a short laugh and shook my head.

"And you said _I _was one of a kind. You my friend are a piece of work." At my words, a wide grin spread across his face.

"I bet," he said, mimicking me from earlier.

I shook my head again and started walking towards a sign that I think said Examination Room C. Examination Room A would be close by right? Right.

We walked in silence for a little while and I spotted Examination Room A down the hall. Then Jerry spoke up again.

"You know, it doesn't matter,"

I gave him a look that said _what the hell are you talking about?_

"It doesn't matter that she's your rookie,"

I gave him a skeptic look while walking into the room. Yea I know, I'm not a man of many words.

"Well _technically _it does, but its not like you get to pick who you fall for."

"Yea well I don't think Boyko would see your reasoning. He'd probably just assign her to a different training officer."

"Ok, well once she's off her probation, it wouldn't matter anymore. Boyko can't say anything about it then."

We were standing in the line to check in. I could see other patients who were sitting around eyeing my bloody uniform. I pretended that I didn't see them.

I stepped up to the counter when the person in front of me left.

There was a very pretty blonde sitting at the desk. Her name tag said Jennifer. She looked fairly young, probably a year or two younger than me.

When I stepped up and leaned against the desk, she subtly leaned forward making the front of her scrubs dip _very _low. I was positive that she knew about it too.

"What can I do for you?" she said in a low throaty voice.

Another time another place, I would have responded to her obvious come on. But I can't make a come on without my heart with me. I left that downstairs in the ICU.

I just pulled the note from my pocket and handed it to her. She was obviously upset about my lack of a response because her lips moved into a half pout.

Still, she held out a pink polish painted hand and took the note, unnecessarily grazing my fingers while she did it.

She took a moment to read the note. How she could understand what those scribbles meant, I'll never know.

Once she was finished, she looked back up at me and gave me a smile.

"You can go right in to see the doctor," she said. "Just go into room 4," she was getting up while saying this.

"I'll show you where it is," she purred while moved to my side.

On my other side, I heard Jerry trying unsuccessfully to hide a laugh with a cough.

"It's alright, I can find it." And with that, I turn my back on her to face Jerry.

"I'm going to need a change of clothes," I began, then furrowed my brows when Jerry shot a gaze over my shoulder and bit his lip to hide a smile

I'm assuming that Jennifer had done something relatively amusing at my words.

"Um... yea. So can you see if you can get me something clean to wear?"

"I'm on it," he said. He took a step backwards, paused, and stepped in again.

"Have fun," he whispered low enough that I was the only one who could hear him, a looked pointedly behind me.

I would have smacked him if he hadn't been smart enough to quickly take a step back while laughing.

He turned and walked to the doors. "I'll bring them back here," he said without turning around.

I still had my back to Jennifer so I rolled my eyes, a small smile playing at the corners of my mouth. I then turned around to face her again.

I gave her a quick smile then walked past her to a door which had a 4 on it. I pushed the door open. It looked like any other doctors office.

There was a desk near the window with all sorts on papers and charts on it. There was a large examination table over to the side. A scale occupied the other side of the room. The walls were covered with posters and pamphlets of sorts.

I walked in pulled out one of the chairs at the desk and sat down.

Just as I did, the door opened and I assumed that it was the doctor. When I turned around however, I was a bit exasperated to see Jennifer standing there.

She had something in her arms and she handed it out to me. I looked down to see a hospital gown.

"I need you to change into this," she said.

I took the gown from her hands purposely avoiding touching her fingers, and waited for her to leave.

She was looking at me intently and I gave her a pointed look towards the door. I couldn't change with her in here.

She wasn't making any move to the door, and I sighed inwardly. God, I just can't catch a break. Where was this doctor?

Wherever he or she was, I wished to God that they would show up soon.

After another moment of her just standing there looking at me, I just couldn't take it.

"Um, where is the doctor? I'm in kind of a rush here."

As a response to my question, she turned around. Oh thank god. She was leaving.

But my happiness didn't last long because she didn't leave, she pulled the door shut with her still in the room.

"Dr. Weston is with another patient right now," she said still facing the closed door. "It'll be a while before he comes to see you."

She turned around to face me, and leaned back on the door with a very feline smile on her face.

_What have I gotten myself into...

* * *

_

**ahaha**

**so how'd you like it? believe it or not, Jen just happened randomly. i didnt plan that one out, but now that shes on the playing feild, i've got some great ideas. mwah haha. lolllz**

**so keep reading to find out. :)**

**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13 everyone!**_

**hope you like it. as always, getting it started was a drag but once i got it going, i was on a roll so enjoy!**

**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.  
**

_

* * *

But my happiness didn't last long because she didn't leave, she pulled the door shut with her still in the room._

"_Dr. Weston is with another patient right now," she said still facing the closed door. "It'll be a while before he comes to see you."_

_She turned around to face me, and leaned back on the door with a very feline smile on her face._

_What have I gotten myself into..._

* * *

Was this honestly happening? I half expected to wake up in my bed any minute now.

I closed my eyes and shook my head to clear it. I silently prayed that when I opened my eyes, that she wouldn't be there.

Unfortunately for me, my luck wasn't any better. I opened my eyes to see the young nurse still leaning back against the door with a suggestive smile on her face.

I exhaled heavily and mentally cursed Dr. Reinfrew for sending me here in the first place, and the examination room doctor who wasn't here.

"Um, you need to leave so I can change," I said in a passive voice.

She grinned and pushed off the door to take a step closer to me. If I wasn't sitting down, I'd have to resist the urge to take a step back.

"Don't tell me that you're _shy_," she crooned.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm not," I replied.

"Then why should I leave?" she asked me, her grin spreading even wider on her face while she took another step towards me.

I sighed. "Don't you have to be at the counter or something?" I said, hoping that my subtlety wasn't too... well subtle.

"Nope," she replied cheerfully and took another step towards me. "I'm on my break right now."

Oh how very freaking convenient. Dear god, what have I done to deserve such rotten luck?

Since she wasn't catching onto my subtle let downs, maybe she was choosing to ignore them, I decided to go for a more direct approach.

"Listen, I don't know what you have in your mind right now, but I'm not in the mood for any of this," I said in a stern voice.

"In fact, I'm quite bent over someone else at the moment, so I'd appreciate it if you just left." If she didn't get the message after what I just said, then she must be insanely oblivious.

Her grin didn't waver one single bit. It stayed as it was on her face as she took another step towards me. I noticed that she moved like a stalking cat.

"I can help straighten you out," she whispered huskily.

That was _it_. I jumped up to my feet. "Listen-," I began, but before I could finish, the door opened, and a tall African American man walked in.

He came in and walked to his desk, never looking up from the clipboard in his hands. I'm guessing this was Dr. Weston.

When he finally did look up, he looked startled. Kind of like he just noticed there were people in here.

How he didn't notice two people standing around talking, I don't know.

"Oh... hello," he said in what sounded like a French accent. He looked down at his clipboard again and furrowed his brow.

That's when Jennifer stepped up to him and held out my note from earlier. He took it and read it over quickly nodding to himself.

"Ok Officer Swarek, lets see what we can do for you," he said while moving to sit behind his desk.

I didn't move from my position standing beside the chair, and Jennifer didn't move from her position standing beside the doctor smiling at me.

"You should change into the gown," he said to me.

I would if I could, doc I thought bitterly. I looked pointedly at Jennifer, and praise the lord Dr. Weston got the silent message.

"Jennifer if you would step out for a moment please," he said to her.

She immediately turned her gaze from me to him. "Of course, but if you need anything, I'll get it for you," she replied sweetly.

"If I need anything," the doctor replied, "I'll page you for it. Now," and he gestured towards the door.

She turned her gaze to me once more for a moment. Then she winked at me and turned and walked to the door.

Once she was out of the room, I turned to the doctor.

"There's a washroom right there," he said pointing to a door on the other end of the room. "You can change in there. There should be a bag or something in there for you to put your other clothes in. Um, you probably should put those back on though."

I looked down at my blood stained uniform and grimaced. "My friend is already getting me a change of clothes," I informed him.

I honestly couldn't _wait _until I got into clean clothes that weren't drenched in Andy's blood.

I moved into the washroom and changed into the gown that was given to me. It was the standard hospital issue.

I found a plastic bag and put my stained uniform in it. I took a quick look in the washroom mirror and grimaced again.

I had a colouring bruise on my jaw from where that sucker punched me. There was blood on the skin near my hairline. It probably got there when I brushed at my face with blood on my hands.

All in all, I looked pretty haggard. I sighed and wiped at the blood on my face, then walked back into the room.

Dr. Weston was still sitting in his chair behind the desk. He looked up when I came in. I stood in the middle of the room, not quite sure what to do.

He finally stood up and gestured for me to sit on the examination table, and I did.

"So, Officer—"

"Call me Sam," I interrupted.

He smiled. "Ok, so Sam, I understand that I am to give you a once over to make sure you really are ok after the events of today. Am I correct?"

"Uh, sounds about right," I replied not feeling entirely comfortable with being _examined_.

"I'm guessing that all that blood on your uniform isn't yours?"

"I don't think any of it is mine. It's my partners. Our op went wrong this afternoon," I said wincing internally as I recalled the events of the day.

"Oh I see. Is your partner all right?" he asked while he moved to me and started to check my vitals.

"Well I hope so," I began. "She's in the ICU right now. She's in an um... coma..." I finished.

If the doctor noticed the change in my voice, he didn't acknowledge it. He just proceeded to poke and prod and write things down on his clipboard.

Almost twenty minutes later, the doctor pronounced me good to go. I didn't have many injuries. Just a few bruises here and there.

Dr. Weston gave me a piece of paper, told me I could leave now. But I needed my change of clothes. I really did _not_ want to change back into my uniform to see if Jerry was back.

"Um, I just have to see if my friend is back with my change of clothes," I said and walked over to the door.

I really didn't want to go out into the waiting room like this, so I prayed to god that Jerry was back and that he was somewhere where he could see me easily.

I opened the door and stuck my head out looking for Jerry. And I was intensely relieved to see Jerry standing a few feet away.

I motioned for him to come closer.

Once he was close enough, he held out a bag to me with clean clothes.

"Thanks, I'll be right back," I said then closed the door once again and went into the washroom to change.

Once I was done, I came out and put the gown in the bin.

"Um, thanks," I said to Dr. Weston who was still sitting at his desk.

"Hmm?" he murmured as he looked up. "Oh, don't worry about it," he said then smiled.

I gave him a quick smile and walked out the door, closing it behind me. I walked over to where Jerry was leaning against the wall.

"Hey, how'd things go?" he asked once I reached him.

"I got the go ahead," I replied smugly. "Now let's get out of here before you know who sees me."

Jerry's gaze travelled behind my shoulder and a grin broke out across his face and I had a sinking feeling that I knew why.

"Speak of the devil," he whispered as I glared at him.

"Oh Sam," I heard a female voice call and I reluctantly turned around. Guess who it was. "Remember what I said earlier," she said and winked.

Before she could say anything else, I walked out of the waiting room and heard Jerry follow me.

I walk to the elevator and pushed the button. The elevator arrived almost instantly. Once we were inside, I could feel Jerry's gaze on me. I didn't have to guess what he was going to ask me.

"Don't ask," I warned. "You do _not_ want to know."

* * *

_**soooo i hope you liked it. **_

_**right now, im really loving the Sam/Jerry scenes. i never realized how much they depended on eachother. their friendship is a great one.**_

_**stay tuned for chapter 14.**_

_**as always, comment and review!**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14!**_

_**Rookie Blue was ok tonight. i CAN NOT EXPLAIN how much i loved the scene where Sam kicked Lukes butt! :D**_

_**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.  
**_

* * *

"_Oh Sam," I heard a female voice call and I reluctantly turned around. Guess who it was. "Remember what I said earlier," she said and winked._

_Before she could say anything else, I walked out of the waiting room and heard Jerry follow me._

_I walk to the elevator and pushed the button. The elevator arrived almost instantly. Once we were inside, I could feel Jerry's gaze on me. I didn't have to guess what he was going to ask me. _

"_Don't ask," I warned. "You do not want to know."_

* * *

I looked to Jerry to see that he was grinning widely.

"Did you jump her or something Sammy?" he asked, the amusement evident in his voice.

"No _Jerry_," I sneered. "She tried to jump _me_."

At that, Jerry broke out into fits of laughter. He was laughing so hard that he had to hold onto the side of the elevator to stay standing.

The door opened on the second floor and he exited first with me following.

"Yea, yea," I said, unable to stop the grin from appearing on my face. "Laugh now but just wait until you're in a situation like this. It is so not funny."

Obviously he thought differently because he was still having a laughing fit. His loud baritone laugh was echoing off the walls in the hall as we made our way to the waiting room again.

His laugh was so contagious that I couldn't resist laughing as well.

Since he was obviously having a lot of fun feeding of my discomfort with the Jen situation I closed the distance between us and put him in a headlock.

Normally, he would be able to get out of my light hold easily, but right now he was laughing so hard that he couldn't do it.

"Me?" he laughed. "In a situation like that?" he said in between his choking laughs. "Never. I'd tell her straight up that I'm into someone else."

After another few seconds of Jerry laughing and me tightening my grip, I decided to let go of him.

"Man I tried. I all but told her that she better back the hell off," I told him while we resumed walking to the waiting room.

"Let me tell you, that chick can not take a hint."

Jerry looked at me absently rubbing the back of his neck. "So you're serious about not making a move on the nurse?" he asked me. "I mean, she is pretty hot and everything."

I gave him a scorching glare. I knew that he was just baiting me, but still.

"Yea she is," I sneered. "Too bad she's not my type."

"And your type of course is brown haired, brown eyed, naive, unpredictable, impulsive... oh wait, that sounds like a certain someone I know," he added with a grin.

And this time I did shoot out my hand to smack him in the back of the head, but he dodged it laughing.

"What?" he asked innocently. "You know that the only reason you're not responding to the hot blonde is because you're still bent on McNally."

I looked straight forward and scowled.

"Listen, I admit that I feel _something_ for her, but it's not like I can do anything about it. She's with Callaghan."

"You're right," he responded and I turned my head to look at him. "Why should you wait around for her when Miss hot blonde is obviously into you?"

If there ever was a time that reverse psychology worked on me, it would be right now.

"Because it's not Miss hot bl-... Jennifer that I feel _something_ for," I replied. "So what if she's with Callaghan? She'll see him for the son of a bitch he really is."

I was looking straight ahead again, but I could tell that Jerry had a satisfactory grin on his face right now.

"Besides, I always come out on top. I'm Sam fucking Swarek for gods sake. I'm the one that got every girl I wanted in high school."

Jerry laughed. "How can I forget?" he asked grinning. "Me and you man. We didn't have a single Friday night free since junior sophomore year."

I grinned despite myself at the thought. It was true. Jerry and I were legendary for having the most options at the end of every week. But unlike Jerry, I didn't have any serious relationships.

"Yea, but most of your Friday nights of junior year were with Suzy Fitzhugh. I never did understand what you saw in her."

At the mention of his former high school sweetheart, the grin fell off of Jerry's face.

"One," he began holding out one finger, "do not mention her name again. I'd be perfectly happy if no one said that name for the rest of my life," he said grimacing. All I can say was bad breakup.

"Second," he said putting up another finger, "she was a great girl... or well so I thought. And third," he put up a third finger.

"If I recall, you never did like her so you wouldn't have seen what I saw. I could have sworn that you were just jealous that you couldn't hold onto a solid relationship."

A grin reappeared on his face as he turned to look at me. It was true that I didn't have any solid relationships. My longest was a week and 3 days with the very pretty Linda Mae Happer.

Jerry and Suzy were together for almost 8 months; basically all of junior year. They had an ugly split at the end of the year and haven't talked to each other since.

"I was _not _jealous of you Barber," I said grinning back at him. "And who said I _couldn't _hold onto a solid relationship? I just didn't want one."

That was semi true. I didn't want to be tied down to anyone, but at the same time, I never did find that one girl that made me feel special.

That is, until now.

Jerry just laughed again. Man his cheeks are going to kill later on.

"Yea, whatever you say Swarek."

With our bantering, the trip back to the waiting room didn't seem as long as the trip to the examination room.

Also, whether he knew it or not, Jerry successfully distracted me from my blind rage towards Callaghan.

We arrived at the waiting room and we walked in to find Epstein, Williams, Nash, and Shaw sitting together.

They looked up at us when we entered. I noticed that Boyko wasn't in the room. And to my disappointment, neither was Callaghan. I could only assume that he was still with Andy.

"Where's Boyko?" I asked of no one in particular as Jerry moved to sit beside Nash.

Williams answered. "He was here a while ago. The doctor came in and asked to talk to him earlier. After that, he said that he had to get back to the barn and left." "He told you to call him when you got back."

I nodded. "Any news on Andy?"

It was Nash who answered this time. "They decided that she was stable enough to move into her room earlier. I was with her when the doctor said it."

"They made us leave so that they could move her. Right now we're waiting until they get her settled in her room. Then we can go see her."

I exhaled deeply. So if they're moving her earlier, that must mean she's doing well. That was a good thing right?

"What's the verdict on your condition Sammy?" Shaw asked.

"I'm good, nothings wrong," I said then glared at Jerry when he started to cough so I rephrased my sentence.

"There is nothing wrong with my physical condition," I said through my teeth, glaring pointedly at Jerry.

The others were looking questioningly back and forth between us.

I looked at Shaw in time to see him raise an eyebrow at me.

"We'll talk about it later," I mumbled under my breath.

Williams had an amused grin on her face but said "You should probably call Boyko."

"Yea I'll do that right now," I said then left the room pulling out my cell phone.

Right when I was going to hit the speed dial button someone spoke up.

"So do you want to tell me what the fuck happened?"

I turned around slowly and sighed inwardly.

_Callaghan_.

* * *

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	15. Chapter 15

_**Chapter 15!**_

_**hope you like it! as always. Luke is an ass -_- that should give you a hint as to what this chapter is centered on.**_

_**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.**_

_**Enjoy!  
**_

* * *

"_Yea I'll do that right now," I said then left the room pulling out my cell phone._

_Right when I was going to hit the speed dial button someone spoke up._

"_So do you want to tell me what the fuck happened?"_

_I turned around slowly and sighed inwardly._

_Callaghan._

* * *

It took me a considerable amount of will power not to roll my eyes at him.

What the hell did he want now?

I really, really did not want to deal with him right now. _Him_ of all people.

"What are you talking about, Callaghan?" I asked, not even bothering to hide the exasperated tone in my voice.

"What the hell do you mean 'what are you talking about'?" he said angrily.

"Why don't you calm the fuck down," I replied trying to stay calm myself. "And once you're calm, then come and talk to me, because you're wasting my time."

I knew talking to him like that pissed him off because I was purposely brushing him off like an annoying child.

Sure enough, he only got angrier.

"Who the fuck are you to tell me to calm down?" he asked angrily. "My _girlfriend_ is in a coma because of you." He shot at me. I didn't miss the emphasis he placed on the word 'girlfriend'. When was he going to let that go?

"It's part of a case that you have no connection with whatsoever," and before he could interrupt me, I added "and _personal relationships_ don't count as a connection."

"Well, _Swarek_. If you were so bent on keeping me out of it, you shouldn't have killed that bodyguard eh?" he asked a grin appearing on his face when he realized that he had something on me.

At that moment I cursed the fact that he was right.

That guy... Royce. That was his name. He was dead because I shot him. That death brought in homicide and therefore brings in Callaghan.

Damn.

Years of undercover work made it easy for me to hide my initial response to what he said. I schooled my face to look nonchalant.

"I wasn't told that you were on this case," I said to him coolly.

And it was true that he may not be at all.

Not only was Callaghan not the only homicide detective, but he had a personal connection with a victim involved with the case.

Boyko was strictly opposed to letting cops and detectives work cases with personal attachments. That's why he didn't want me to do this case.

However I have a much stronger friendship with Boyko than Callaghan does. That's what made him finally succumb into letting me on the case.

On top of that, I am amazingly persuasive I thought smugly.

"Just because you weren't told doesn't mean it isn't true," he shot back at me, but I knew that he understood that he wasn't standing on solid ground anymore.

This was more like it. Me in charge.

"That may be, but I can't say anything until I hear from Boyko that you _are_ on the case. So if you'll excuse me, I actually have something to do." With that, I turned my back on him.

For a second I thought he had left, but I knew better than that.

I felt his hands grip my shoulder as he pulled me around to face him. The look on his face told me that he was severely pissed right now.

Oh well, I could care less.

"You think you're so damn big don't you?" he said trying to sound menacing. Keyword being _trying_.

"Yes I do," I replied with a mocking smile for the benefit of seeing his face redden with anger.

He shoved me back against the wall. Wow this guy was really set on being sent to the ICU now wasn't he?

"You're just so fucking jealous that I got her and you didn't," he said, slightly out of breath.

Instead of saying something, I just raised an eyebrow at him.

"Come on. I see the way you look at her. Everyone does. You are just so jealous that you can't admit that she'd never want you."

Much to his anger, I just laughed. "Really? Is that what you think?"

"I _know_ that's what it is," he snapped. "You are just so jealous. You probably heard that she and I were supposed to go to my high school reunion this weekend. And now because of you, I can't take her."

"And I already told everyone I'd be bringing her," he continued and I had the strangest feeling that he only wanted to take Andy to show her off to his old classmates.

That got me angry. The thought of Callaghan _using_ Andy for any reason fuelled the fire that was already burning because of my hatred towards him.

I pushed up and reversed our positions, slamming him up against the wall roughly.

I used much more force than necessary since he wasn't expecting it at all, if the surprised look on his face was any indication.

I put my arm up against his throat and added a light pressure to it.

"She isn't an object for you to be showing her around," I hissed at him through my clenched teeth adding pressure to my arm.

Unlike him, I can actually try and achieve a menacing voice.

"You just want her to show around to your little friends. Like a fucking trophy." I kept increasing the pressure on my arm gradually. His face was turning an interesting shade on purple.

"You don't really care about her. She's just another girl to you. She's just a way for you to get one in on me."

Even though he was probably choking, he managed a shaky grin.

"It's working isn't it?" he said in a slightly strangled voice and I just increased the pressure until the grin fell off his face.

"Listen carefully," I said in a dangerously low voice.

"If I wanted Andy McNally, I could have her."

So it wasn't the complete truth only because I wasn't sure of it myself.

If I could do it to the girls in high school, I could do it to Andy right? Right?

But the thing was that Andy was like no other girl I've ever met before. So I didn't know if I could have her.

What if that was just wishful thinking?

Well whether it was or wasn't, I wasn't going to let Callaghan see that I was doubting it myself.

The pressure that I was placing on Callaghan's neck was making his face more and more purple hued. At the moment, I didn't care.

I would have held this position longer, but then I heard a voice directed towards me.

I didn't even have to turn around to know who it was.

I groaned inwardly and removed my arm from Callaghan so that he slumped down the wall and onto the ground gasping for air.

"Hey Sam," said a very female voice.

_Damn. Jennifer.

* * *

_

**Soo hope you liked it.**

**and you see what i mean about the Luke thing? yea**

**i am just not going to let what happened at the end of Hot and Bothered go -_- oh well :)**

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	16. Chapter 16

___**Chapter 16!**_

**sorry it took a while to upload this. i was at my uncles house in Vaughan over the weekend so i couldnt do it then.**

**hope you like!**

**and p.s if someone can help answer a question for me about the Document Manager, can you please inbox me? please and thank you!**

**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.**

**Enjoy!  
**

_

* * *

I didn't even have to turn around to know who it was. _

_I groaned inwardly and removed my arm from Callaghan so that he slumped down the wall and onto the ground gasping for air._

"_Hey Sam," said a very female voice._

_Damn. Jennifer. _

* * *

I didn't even look twice at Callaghan who was now slumped at my feet gasping for air. He'll survive... sadly.

Besides, I have bigger problems on my hands.

The biggest one being a certain insanely gorgeous blond nurse named Jennifer.

One small part of myself scolded me for appreciating her inhumane beauty. I however sated that part of me by admitting that I was only human.

A male human. A straight male human.

I couldn't deny the fact that she was very physically appealing, and in other circumstances, I differently would have taken her up on her offer.

In the present situation I was in however, acting on that physical attraction was definitely out of the question.

I did have one thing making it easier for me though; her disgusting personality.

Even though I was the same player that I was in high school, I would never have given someone who was so utterly annoying and who could not obviously take a hint a chance at all.

I slowly turned around so that I was facing her. I lost all hope that if I ignored her she would just go away.

When I was facing her, I didn't even bother to hide the exasperated tone behind my voice.

"What are you doing here?" I asked not caring that I was sounding very rude.

"I just wanted to come by and see if you were doing alright," she said in a deep throaty voice.

Did she practice that? That voice that sounded like its own sexual act. There was no way that that was normal.

"As you can tell," I began, "I am perfectly fine. That's why I'm not with a doctor right now," I explained to this seemingly oblivious woman.

"Yea well, you see, I never took you to be someone who took orders," she purred and stepped closer to me oozing sexuality.

I praised myself for holding back from her completely.

At her approach, I would have stepped back if Callaghan hadn't been lying right there.

"I try to take the occasional order," I said in a voice that portrayed perfect calm.

She gave me a slow feline smile, then her gaze dropped to my feet. I knew she was looking at Callaghan.

"And who's your friend?" she asked with that smile in place.

Behind me I could feel Callaghan trying to sit up straighter and try to disguise that fact that he was breathing hard.

God, could he get any more disgusting? Here he was trying to fix himself up in front of Jennifer just minutes after he gloated to me about his relationship with Andy.

Nope, I didn't think he could get any more disgusting.

Here I was, not even thinking about going for Jennifer, and I was actually single.

I finally understood what women meant when they say men are pigs.

"He's not a friend," I snapped at her.

"Well then if he's not your friend, then what is he?" she asked him as her eyes raked over him.

"A co-worker," I replied stiffly.

"So you're a cop too?" she asked, addressing the question to Callaghan.

This time I did look down at him to see him struggling to his feet. Once he was up, he was straightening his clothes out hastily.

He finally ran a hand through his hair and flashed a grin at her.

"No, I'm a homicide detective." He told her.

"Homicide eh?" she ask with (fake) interest. "It must be hard to work with all that death around you all the time." She commented.

"Well I could say the same to you," he said taking a small, subtle step towards her. "Working with sick people all the time must be hard as well."

Oh cry me a river, I thought.

It was very disgusting to watch the two of them flirting with each other so openly. Especially since Callaghan had a girlfriend and Jennifer had been flirting with me only moments before.

Not that I minded of course. If flirting with Callaghan meant that she wasn't flirting with me, then I was all for it.

But at the same time, if Callaghan was flirting with Jennifer, that made it really likely that he would cheat on Andy in an instant.

And even though I'd do anything to be with Andy, I really didn't want Callaghan to cheat on her. It would break her heart and I didn't want to see her go through that.

So me being the gentle man that I am (ha) I directed Jennifer's attention back to me. It wasn't very hard at all. Figures.

"Aren't you supposed to be at you're desk?" I asked and immediately her focus shifted to me completely. From the corner of my eye, I could see Callaghan scowling. The nerve of the son of a bitch.

"I mean, I'm sure you can't be on you're break because you were on it earlier," I added.

She took another step in my direction as she answered.

"I took it upon myself to call a 'special emergency'" she took another step and I realized that she was suddenly _very_ close to me.

Very close as in close enough to touch me if she held out a hand.

Oh the sacrifices I make for Andy, I thought wryly.

"Uh huh," I said, "I bet you did." And it was the truth. I could totally buy her making that kind of an excuse.

"Yup." She drew out the word like a little kid.

"Do you wanna know why?" she whispered taking yet another step closer to me.

_Hell No!_ I shouted in my head.

I took a step back now that Callaghan wasn't right behind me and my back went up against the wall.

This can _not_ be good, I thought to myself.

She was now right up against me.

I could see Callaghan looking at us from the corner of his eye, like he wanted to see what was going on but didn't want to make it obvious that he was looking.

And was that envy I see in his expression?

Well well well.

I however couldn't think more about that right now because Jennifer just happened to decide that she was going to press right up against me in the hallway right outside a waiting room.

He placed her hand on my arm and slid her way up onto her toes.

She leaned in to bring her lips so close to my ear that I could feel them.

"Because I—"

She didn't get to finish because another voice interrupted us.

"Sam?"

I turned around with Jennifer still on me.

_Shit. Nash._

_

* * *

_

**So i hope i can get chapter 17 to you tomorrow.**

**as usual comment and review!**

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**xoxo thedarkangel22  
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	17. Chapter 17

_**Chapter 17!**_

**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.**

**Enjoy!  
**

_

* * *

She leaned in to bring her lips so close to my ear that I could feel them._

"_Because I—" _

_She didn't get to finish because another voice interrupted us._

"_Sam?" _

_I turned around with Jennifer still on me._

_Shit. Nash._

* * *

The look on Nash's face said a whole lot.

She looked surprised and disgusted at the same time.

Funny, that's exactly how I was feeling just now as well.

"Um, I thought you were... I mean... I um..." she began to stutter, not managing to get out a full sentence.

I was sure that my mouth was hanging open, and I forced myself to snap it shut.

"Hey Traci, did you tell Sam—" Jerry was saying as he came up behind Nash, but he stopped once he came across the spectacle before him.

He didn't say anything, but he did raise an eyebrow at me with an unspoken question.

I realized that we all looked pretty comical right now.

What with Callaghan standing there with his face still pink, Traci staring at me like I had grown two heads, Jerry looking pointedly at me, and of course, myself standing pressed up against a wall with Jennifer right up against me.

Having everyone staring at me was not what I wanted right now, so I attempted to cause some sort of a distraction.

"Um... I was just... uh... making a phone call?" I finished lamely, the sentence sounding more like a question than a statement.

That seemed to have snapped Nash out of her momentarily stunned faze, because the expression that took over her face now was one of pure disgust.

"Yea, of course you were," she sneered clearly not believing my explanation.

"Well Dr. Reinfrew was just with us," she began.

What? How did I not notice him walk by?

"And he just came by to tell us that Andy is in her room now."

She was? I wanted to go see her as soon as possible, but apparently Nash wasn't finished talking because she kept going in a voice of pure venom.

"Not that you would care," she snarled while shooting a withering glare at Jennifer who had all the gall to grin right back at her.

"You seem to have found a way to occupy yourself," she finished while looking pointedly at Jennifer who seem to press herself to me even more.

With that said, Nash turned on her heel and stalked back into the waiting room before I had a chance to even come up with something to say.

I turned pleading eyes to Jerry, his expression looked questioning, but he got the message none the less.

"Uh... Sam can I talk to you for a second?" he asked and I almost wept with joy at the escape he just gave me.

"Uh, yea sure," I said hurriedly and began to pull my arms from Jennifer's grip.

For a small person, she had a solid grip and it took me an effort to peel her hands off of me without hurting her.

Once I did get her hands off of me however, she pressed her body up to me and turned her big blue eye up to mine with a pout on her lips.

"But Sammy," she crooned, "I got out of work to come see you." She finished, her pout becoming more prominent on her small face.

I looked over her head and locked eyes with Jerry to see that he was fake gagging and I worked to keep the grin that threatened to break out in check.

"Well, I gotta talk to Jerry about something important," I said trying not to show the smugness I was feeling in my voice while I kept my eyes on Jerry's.

He however didn't have to hide the grin that was breaking out on his face.

I turned my eyes back down to Jennifer when she slid her hands down my chest to right over the top of my jeans.

Holy crap!

I had to get away from her and fast. I was harbouring fears that if I didn't, she would be shameless enough to go even further.

I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her firmly away, not being too gentle about it.

Once she wasn't touching me anymore, I made my quick escape to Jerry's side and released an audible sigh.

"Come back to me quick," her voice called from behind, and that was all I needed to start speed walking hoping to god that Jerry was following.

A quick look over my shoulder told me that he was indeed following, looking at the ground and shaking his head, the grin still in place on his face.

The look also showed me that Jennifer was now advancing on a very smug looking Callaghan. I turned my head in disgust.

Without knowing it, I realized that I had brought us to the elevators.

I turned around to see Jerry looking at me with a very amused look on his face.

"Do you wanna explain to me how you got in that very interesting position with the very person you were so set on avoiding?"

I grimaced at his comment.

"Man, what can I say, she wants me." At that, Jerry broke out into fits of laughter.

The elevator also happened to open and we walked in with Jerry still laughing.

I fixed him with a scathing stare.

"I'm serious. I'm half afraid that she's going to jump me in the hallways." That seemed to only make Jerry laugh even harder as he leaned on the side of the elevator to hold himself up.

Neither of us pressed a number so the elevator stayed idly on the second floor.

Finally Jerry stood up and wiped the corner of his eye and leaned over to press the button to the 5th floor.

"Are you done now?" I asked in a dry tone.

He cracked a smile. "God Swarek, you crack me up."

"Ha ha ha," I commented not amused. "I bet."

Jerry took a deep breath.

"But seriously," he started.

"What happened back there?"

I sighed.

"I went out in the hall to call Boyko and before I could, Callaghan showed up."

Jerry nodded his head knowingly as if that explained everything.

"Yea, well then he started talking about how he had a right to know what happened and how I was jealous of him and Andy and all this other shit."

Jerry looked sympathetically at me, and that's what made this next part make me feel better.

"So I shoved him up against a wall and choked him until his face turned purple," I said, a grin spreading on my face.

A mirroring grin spread on Jerry's face and he clapped my back as we exited the elevator.

"Alright, Sammy boy!" he commented.

"Yea, I figured it was my civic duty to put him in his place." I said then after a pause I added, "Where are we going?"

"I'm taking you to Andy's room," he said and began to walk off.

"Um ok," I said then followed after him.

We eventually came to a door that said 22C on the front. The name slot beside it said 'Andy McNally'.

Jerry stopped at the door.

"Go ahead," he told me.

I looked at him again and then turned the door knob and walked into the room.

And there on the single bed in the room was Andy.

I walked up to the head of the bed and looked down at her face.

She looked so peaceful, like she was sleeping.

After a seconds' hesitation, I leaned over and rested my forehead on hers, and my eyes closed.

"Oh Andy," I whispered. "Come back soon."

* * *

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_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
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	18. Chapter 18

_**Chapter 18!**_

_**So this chapter runs deeper into Sam's past. the next will make quite a bit clearer. so keep on reading!**_

_**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me!**_

_**RB TONIGHT! YAY**_

_**Enjoy!  
**_

* * *

"_Go ahead," he told me._

_I looked at him again and then turned the door knob and walked into the room._

_And there on the single bed in the room was Andy._

_I walked up to the head of the bed and looked down at her face._

_She looked so peaceful, like she was sleeping._

_After a seconds' hesitation, I leaned over and rested my forehead on hers, and my eyes closed._

"_Oh Andy," I whispered. "Come back soon." _

* * *

I don't know if I expected her to react to what I said.

I guess part of me wished that she did. Even if that reaction was disgust or embarrassment or whatever. I just couldn't stand to see her lying almost lifelessly on a hospital bed.

I waited like that for a moment, with our faces touching for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually, I realized that she wasn't reacting to it at all. In fact, she looked just like she did when I first walked into the room.

With a sigh that made her hair flutter, I straightened up and winced at the shooting pain in my lower back.

God, what was I, 50?

I cursed softly and took a step in the direction of a chair once I was sure that I wouldn't double over in pain.

Thankfully, it subsided quickly.

I looked down at the three chairs that were placed in the room for visitors.

They were made of wood and had an uncomfortable looking navy blue cushion seat.

I grimaced slightly at the fact that it would be uncomfortable for long periods of time, which is what I intended to do of course.

Suck it up for Andy, I thought and pulled one of the chairs to the head of Andy's bed.

As I lowered myself into the chair, I realized that sadly, I was right about it. They were incredibly uncomfortable.

I wondered why hospitals would do something like that.

Not only will the visitor be upset about their loved ones, but they would also have to endure the torture of a hospital chair.

Oh wow, I thought suddenly. I was stressing out over the ethics of a hospital chair. There really was no saving me.

I looked over at Andy again on the bed, and thought again about how much she looked like she was just asleep.

I mean if you over looked the heart monitor, and all the various tubes around her, she looked to be sleeping like any other normal person.

_But she's not_, the stubborn voice in my head failed to let me forget.

I sighed again and tipped my head back to stare at the creamy white ceiling.

How could things have gotten so bad so quickly?

I mean, it feels like just a little while ago that Andy and I were in the cruiser and I was wondering what she saw when she stared at me.

I had no doubt now that she was probably thinking about what a jerk I was being for not considering her concerns about the case.

Maybe if I had listened to her when she told me that something hadn't felt right. Maybe if I hadn't gotten so careless about Daffanzo. Maybe if I hadn't underestimated that bodyguard.

Maybe if I had kept a better eye on her, none of this would have happened. None of this would have happened, and she would be alright.

I expelled a whoosh of air angrily.

No matter how much everyone tried to tell me that it wasn't my fault, I knew that they were lying.

You didn't get to be a cop without being able to catch someone who is lying. And I was an exceptional cop... or so I thought.

It was true, accidents do happen, but this wasn't an accident. It was my fault, and I knew it. I didn't need anyone else to confirm it for me even though I realized that Nash would.

If only I had listened to Boyko and Jerry and Oliver. If only I had just stepped away from this case and just let Williams or Oliver take it.

But no. I couldn't do that now could I? I thought bitterly.

I needed to be the biggest and best cop around. I needed to prove to everyone else that I could do it even though I knew deep down that I couldn't.

My fucking ego was way too big for me to admit it, even to myself. And now my rookie pays the price, _I _pay the price.

What pissed me off royally was the fact that my friends could tell that I couldn't do it, and I couldn't see it for myself.

"Fuck!" I cursed aloud and ran a hand through my hair.

If only it wasn't so much like last time.

I leaned forward to balance my elbows on my knees and I dropped my face into my hands.

I could imagine with almost uncanny precision the last time I was in a hospital room. I could remember perfectly the person lying in the hospital bed.

I could remember the way her long brown hair was always so shiny, and how it always smelled like strawberries.

I could remember her big beautiful warm brown eyes that always looked up at me with a mischievous twinkle.

I could remember her full lips, always quick to turn up into a grin, and were always so soft against mine.

I sighed and massaged my temples in the efforts to ease the oncoming headache.

I couldn't stop the onslaught of memories that were suddenly being thrust into my head.

Me and her lying on the couch on Saturday afternoons watching movies with homemade popcorn.

Her dragging me out into a rainstorm to stand under the pelting of the raindrops.

Me waking up to her beautiful face. Kissing her right when she woke up.

Her calling my name like an excited child at a carnival at the most trivial things. _"Sam! Sam! Did you see that bird? Oh my gosh it was beautiful!"_

The look on her face when I'd come home and kiss her softly and whisper her name. _"Camille."_

I pushed my thumbs onto my closed eyes to try to get rid of the pounding in my head.

_Why did you have to die Cam?

* * *

_

**Heyy everybodyy!**

**i hope you liked that chapter! i decided to make it so that you get the gist of what happened to her, and how it was like what happened to Andy vagely. **

**you will find out that they are more related than you may think.**

**i also decided to give you guys a glimps at what they had together. and to give you some insite as to why Sam is now afraid of true commitment.**

**the next chapter holds quite a few flashbacks for ya'll so i hope you'll like it!**

**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**


	19. Chapter 19

_**Chapter 19!**_

**so just to clarify, the part in italics inbetween the )('s is the actual flashback that Sam is having. the rest of it is basically him remembering his past with Camille.  
**

**if you like the flashbacks, leave me a comment/review saying that you want more of that!**

**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.**

**RB TONIGHT! cant wait!**

**Enjoy!  
**

_

* * *

Me and her lying on the couch on Saturday afternoons watching movies with homemade popcorn._

_Her dragging me out into a rainstorm to stand under the pelting of the raindrops._

_Me waking up to her beautiful face. Kissing her right when she woke up._

_Her calling my name like an excited child at a carnival at the most trivial things. "Sam! Sam! Did you see that bird? Oh my gosh it was beautiful!"_

_The look on her face when I'd come home and kiss her softly and whisper her name. "Camille." _

_I pushed my thumbs onto my closed eyes to try to get rid of the pounding in my head._

_Why did you have to die Cam?_

* * *

It all came back.

The loss gripped me. The pain was just as violent as it was the first time around, and I felt just as alone.

It was just my luck that the one girl that I could truly say that I was in love with had to die.

It wasn't for me. Passion, family, relationships, _love._

And even if I began to slowly believe that things would be ok, what just happened with Andy brought me right back to square one.

I had just admitted that I felt _something_ and already she was fighting for her life.

I was just bad luck. Women should learn how to run in the opposite direction when they cross paths with me unless they want to lose their life.

I guess I'd always known that, even before Camille came into my life.

I thought that a carer in law enforcement would deter any women from wanting anything serious with me.

But despite all the warning signs, there was Camille. No matter how much I told her that I was bad news, she kept coming back, and that was my miracle.

I could remember the day we first met perfectly.

I had just finished bringing in a ring of drug dealers in only a month of undercover work. It was my third day back and I was with Jerry on one of our 'breaks'.

We were talking about Jerry's latest fling Mirabel. He was telling me about how they had met last night and how they had hit it off when I realized two young women walking in our direction.

The one on the left had bright red hair that curled down her back and piercing green eyes.

She was catching eyes because not only was she beautiful, but also because she was wearing a very bright yellow dress.

From Jerry's description earlier, I realized that this was Mirabel.

As beautiful as she was, I couldn't stop looking at her friend.

She was more like moonlight where as Mirabel was like the scorching sunlight.

She had long softly wavy brown hair and large brown eyes. She had such a sweet face that was almost painfully beautiful.

She reminded me of the porcelain baby doll that one of the detectives had in her office.

She was wearing dark jeans and knee high black boots with a blue jersey-like top.

I didn't fail to notice how beautiful her body was. She was no skinny stick that was for sure. She had a wonderfully curvy body and that was just fine with me.

**)(**

"_Sam!" I heard Jerry call my name, and I snapped my head over to look at him._

"_Did you hear what I just said?" he asked and truthfully, no I hadn't so I just looked at him._

"_I said," he told me grinning, "that this is Mirabel." He finished pointing to the redhead._

"_You know, the girl I was telling you about," he informed me like I didn't know._

"_Oh," I said. "Nice to meet you, I'm Sam." I formally held out my hand for her to shake._

"_Hey," she said and gave me a warm smile then gestured to her friend._

"_This is my best friend Camille Moruse."_

_I turned my gaze to her and I noticed that she was blushing slightly as she gave me a small smile._

_Camille Moruse._

_**)(**_

That was a Tuesday as I recalled, and by Tuesday next week, we had already seen each other quite a bit. We weren't officially going out like Jerry and Mirabel were, but we were pretty damn close.

We were always talking on the phone or e-mailing or texting. A day didn't go by where I didn't hear her voice at least once.

I didn't realized it right away, but she was changing me, making me into a whole new person.

Everyone else seemed to notice and Mirabel told me it was because I was in love. At the time, I scoffed at the idea.

Me? In love? It couldn't be. That was more of Jerry's thing, not mine.

But even as I openly rejected the idea, I knew that it was becoming more and more true.

I would sit at my desk filing reports and I'd find myself thinking about her. I'd go to sleep and I'd dream of her.

And a little by little, I let myself believe that I could love and be loved.

Camille Moruse made me believe, and I let myself believe that she was the one.

The barriers that I worked so hard to build were being broken down piece by piece by this one woman who had become to be so very important to me.

I enjoyed her company and she seemed to enjoy mine.

I was happy with her. Happier then I had even been with any other woman I had come across in the past.

I let her in closer than I had let my own family, and for once in my life, I felt complete. Truly complete. And somewhere in my heart I knew that she was the one I wanted to marry and start my own family with.

I felt so much for her, so much more than I felt for anyone else.

In fact, the only other person I ever felt that for was now lying in a hospital bed just like Camille.

I raised my head to look at her now.

_Just like Camille.

* * *

_

**Hope you liked it!**

**and again, if you like the flashbacks and stuff leave me a comment if you want me to continue with them.**

**i know that this chapter like the last if focusing more on Sam's relationship with Camille, but i want the readers to get the background story. and of course you'll all get the background story in more depth later on. this is just to satisfy your questioning minds for now :) lollz**

**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**


	20. Chapter 20

_**Chapter 20!**_

_**i can not tell you how pissed i was at the begining of RB on thursday wen Traci told Andy to forget about Sam (though i was sooo happy when Andy said it was 'the best mistake of her life') but the ending made up for it.**_

_**Luke leaving was a Yay moment for me. though i did muster enough compassion to feel bad for the guy. :(**_

_**and not to mension how EXCITED i am for next weeks epi!**_

_**Andy. Sam. Sudbury. Alone... almost... YESSSSSSSSSSSSS! ahahhaahhaa :)**_

_**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to moi :)**_

_**Enjoy!  
**_

_

* * *

I enjoyed her company and she seemed to enjoy mine. _

_I was happy with her. Happier then I had even been with any other woman I had come across in the past. _

_I let her in closer than I had let my own family, and for once in my life, I felt complete. Truly complete. And somewhere in my heart I knew that she was the one I wanted to marry and start my own family with._

_I felt so much for her, so much more than I felt for anyone else._

_In fact, the only other person I ever felt that for was now lying in a hospital bed just like Camille._

_Just like Camille._

* * *

I sighed with the admission.

It _was_ just like Camille, despite the number of times Jerry and Oliver tried to tell me otherwise.

I raised my head from my hands to look at the fragile looking woman in the bed before me.

Her chest was rising and falling with each breath, and that was what kept me relatively calm. The sound of her breathing. The solid rhythm of it.

I found myself trying to match my breathing to hers, and for a long moment, the only sound in the room was breathing.

Hers and mine, perfectly in sync. Just like we were... _are_... that was undeniable.

I tried to think back to see if I had done the same with Camille in her hospital room, but I couldn't recall the memory.

I could remember the many days I spent on an uncomfortable hospital chair by her side, talking to her relentlessly.

Now that I think of it, I don't think there was ever that _silence _with me and Camille.

There was always some sort of a conversation going even thought it was almost completely one sided. Call it wishful thinking, but I thought that if I kept up a steady conversation, she'd wake up and at least tell me to shut the hell up.

Which, now that I think about it, would be incredibly ironic because it was usually her who kept up the conversations.

With Andy, it was quite the opposite.

Where Camille had chattered on endlessly, Andy was a woman of few words. Where Camille left me knowing exactly what she was thinking, Andy left me wondering what was going through her head at the moment.

Where Camille had been completely outgoing, Andy was a bit more reserved. Where Camille and I shared outright grins, Andy and I shared small smiles of a deeper understanding.

I sighed deeply and focused more intently on Andy lying in the bed.

Sure, they were similar in some aspects. Like the fact that they are both beautiful brunettes with deep brown eyes and mesmerizing smiles.

But when I looked deeper, past their physical appearances, they weren't all that much alike at all.

I held on to that. _They weren't all that much alike at all._

They are two different people in _similar_ situations. Similar, not the exact same.

I need to hold on to the fact that this won't end the way it did with Camille. I knew that I had to. But at times it was just so damn hard.

I let myself fall in love once and had to watch her slip away when I could do much about it. Kinda like trying to hold onto water.

It was impossible, because every time you think you have a handful, it just slips through your fingers.

_No._ A voice in my head all but growled.

It was not going to happen this time. I was _not_ going to watch Andy slip away from me.

I'll use a fucking bucket if I have to to keep her from slipping through my fingers.

With my newly found grasp on things, I decided to stop throwing myself a freaking pity party; thinking about my past, wallowing over Camille all over again.

I'm going to stop all of that because there are more important things that I could be doing. Like being with Andy.

What was that they said about comatose patients?

Oh yea, that you should talk to them because they can hear you... well probably hear you.

If that was true, Andy was listening to a whole lot of nothing right now. And that, would make Andy freak out.

As I thought that, a small smile played at the corners of my mouth.

Yea, it would. That's my rookie I thought fondly.

Still smiling, I got up to drag my chair even closer to Andy's bed so that I was right up next to it.

I sat down on the end of the chair and balanced my elbows on the bed as I rested my chin on my knuckles.

For a moment I just looked at her beautiful face.

I took a deep breath before I cleared my throat.

"I was a rookie at 15th division about 4, 4 and a half years ago," I began.

"Me, Jerry, Oliver, Noelle, we all had just graduated from the academy together. We were all pretty ecstatic that we had not only made it, but that we would be working together."

"Yes," I said grinning as I heard the question that she would undoubtedly ask in my head. "I, Sam Swarek, was glad that I was working _together_ with the others."

I paused for a moment before I continued.

"You see, I trusted these guys a lot, and that was big for me. I _never_ work with someone I don't trust."

Biggest understatement of the year, I thought grimly.

"Jerry and I go way way back since like pre-school, so I had no trouble trusting him. Oliver and Noelle I met at the academy and we hit it off pretty well, and I slowly built my trust in them also."

"The four of us were tight. Well Jerry and I were always like that, but we opened our circle to Oliver and Noelle."

"And it was great. We always had each others backs no matter what. Like this one time where Noelle punched some other guy at the academy, we had her back even though we knew we'd have to suffer the consequences as well."

"But let me tell you," I gave a short laugh. "Noelle probably didn't need our help at all. She clocked that guy and we could practically see the birds circling his head as he went down. It was hilarious."

I grinned at the memory. Though the guy, Chuck Delvers I believe was his name, had about three of his groupies with him at the time, I'm pretty sure Noelle could have handled them on her own.

I looked down at Andy's still unresponsive form as I paused again, wondering if I should continue to say what I was going to, but I eventually did.

"There was a fifth person in our group, a guy. Me and him got close pretty quickly. Jerry, and Oliver didn't really like him all that much but they didn't object to him being our fifth."

"I always wondered why we kind of hit it off. Though we were very different from each other, we were also very much alike."

"The same short temper, the same need to be right all the time, to be able to defeat and conquer, the same sharp tongue."

"I remember Noelle laughing about it one time. She was saying how we were like long lost brothers or something, which was especially ridiculous seeing as how we looked nothing alike. We all laughed about it together."

"We only found out much later that what Noelle said wasn't as ridiculous as we had originally thought."

"Needless to say, that one fact changed everything between us. The day before we graduated, they post a list telling us where we were going once we did graduate."

I attempted a weak smile.

"Pissed off wouldn't begin to describe what I felt when I read his name on the same list as the one mine was on."

"I could feel the tension building up as I read those two words posted on the same 15th division list over and over again."

"_Luke Callaghan."

* * *

_

**Hope you liked it!**

**and yes i dropped a MAJOR bomb :D i know i know im evil! just to keep you on your toes though :) **

**dont worry, there are alot more surprises where that one came from. its from what i call my surprise story twister vault (SSTV) aka my twisted brain. lol :D**

**anyyyways toodaloo for now!**

**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**


	21. Chapter 21

_**Chapter 21!**_

_**i am so sorry it took forever for me to put this up. alot has been happening and i just couldnt find the time. im back now so yay!**_

_**remember that the stuff between the )('s are flashbacks.  
**_

_**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.**_

_**Enjoy!  
**_

* * *

"_I remember Noelle laughing about it one time. She was saying how we were like long lost brothers or something, which was especially ridiculous seeing as how we looked nothing alike. We all laughed about it together."_

"_We only found out much later that what Noelle said wasn't as ridiculous as we had originally thought." _

"_Needless to say, that one fact changed everything between us. The day before we graduated, they post a list telling us where we were going once we did graduate."_

_I attempted a weak smile._

"_Pissed off wouldn't begin to describe what I felt when I read his name on the same list as the one mine was on." _

"_I could feel the tension building up as I read those two words posted on the same 15__th__ division list over and over again."_

"_Luke Callaghan." _

* * *

I took a deep breath as all that old resentment came rushing back.

Standing in front of that list just staring at that one name that I was sure that I would never have to come across again once I graduated.

If only.

**)(**

_I remember Jerry coming up behind me, slapping my shoulder, exclaiming happily how the four of us were all going to 15__th__. _

_I remember the bitterness in my voice once I told him that the four of us weren't the only ones._

_At first a look of confusion came across his face, but a quick look at the list over my shoulder had his eyebrows shooting up into his dark hair as his eyeballs almost popped out of his face. _

_He undoubtedly saw what I was seeing this time. _

_I looked across the room in the direction of the second set of lists where Luke Callaghan was also staring dumbstruck at the second 15__th__ division list._

_He was obviously not believing our horrible luck either._

"_Oh... Luke?" I heard Oliver say as he came over to stand next to Jerry and me._

_He had also caught onto the murderous look on my face._

"_Yeah," I muttered angrily. "I mean come on! What are the chances of us being sent to the same division? Do you have any idea of how many of us there are in the graduating class?"_

"_And out of all those people, he had to be placed in the same division as me?" I forced through my clenched teeth._

"_Hey, Sam. Calm down. This may not turn out as bad as you think it might," said Noelle who had also come over to stand with us._

_I sent her a scornful glance. Why did women always have to parade the 'good side' of things? Especially when there was no 'good side' of this situation._

"_Come on Noelle, now's not the time to be the ever so optimistic one," I told her with a bit more bitterness than really necessary considering that she was only trying to help._

"_You where standing right there three months ago when the two of us found out. You saw what kind of a reaction that brought out from us. After that, how can you even consider that it might not be bad?"_

"_Well she may be right," said Jerry and I snapped my head over to glare at him disbelievingly. If any one of my friends would understand, I was sure that I would be him._

"_It won't be 'bad' it will be horrible," he finished, and I remembered why he was my best friend._

_Noelle smacked the back of his head as we began to walk away towards the back of the academy, but she knew that he was right._

"_I swear that this was all McGreggor's doing," I said, naming my least favourite teacher. _

_Considering that I didn't like teachers to start with, I had some serious hatred going towards Sheila McGreggor._

"_Knowing her and how much she enjoys torturing me, it was probably her idea to put the two of us together."_

"_Well that could make sense, but she wouldn't do that to Callaghan, she adores him," Noelle said, and she was right._

_Like almost all the other teachers at the academy, McGreggor had had a special liking towards Callaghan._

"_Maybe she hates me enough not to let the opportunity pass," I said angrily as we reached our usual hang out spot behind the academy._

_We were all quiet for a long time. _

"_I guess just ignoring him is out of the question," Oliver said, breaking the long silence._

"_Trying to ignore him is like trying to ignore an elephant," I said. A big, stupid, blond elephant. "It's impossible."_

_I heard Jerry sigh next to me._

"_And I thought high school drama was bad," he said in an overly exaggerated forlorn tone. _

_Noelle let out a short laugh and Oliver was laughing to. Jerry looked at me grinning and I couldn't help myself as a grin spread on my own face._

"_High school was nothing compared to any of this man" I said still grinning._

_I heard Noelle scoff. "What kind of high school did the two of you go to?" she asked mockingly. _

"_The kind where almost all the drama came from Sammy's ex girlfriends," Jerry joked and we all laughed again._

_Count on Jerry to lighten the mood. _

_And sitting there laughing and poking fun with the three of them, I actually thought that I could get through being at the same division as Callaghan._

**)(**

Now that I thought back on it, they had made working with Callaghan much easier than it would have been without them here as well.

Of course during the first year at 15th we tried to avoid each other like the plague. Tried being the operative word.

No matter how hard we tried, somehow we'd always cross paths.

He got through it by sending me withering glares and 'thinking' that he was better than me (as if).

I got through it by not looking or talking to him unless it was unavoidable, relishing the fact that I knew more people around the station than he did, and knowing that I was one of the best rookies of the 2006 group.

Of course having my best friend and two other really good friends there with me got me threw it as well.

In fact, I was sure that they made it as easy as it was for me at 15th division as possible.

Well, as possible as they could have made it when I had a much hated half brother there with me.

* * *

_**Hope you liked it!**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**RB in little over 30 minutes! cant WAIT!**_

**chapter 22 people!**

**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.**

**Enjoy!  
**

_

* * *

Now that I thought back on it, they had made working with Callaghan much easier than it would have been without them here as well. _

_Of course during the first year at 15__th__ we tried to avoid each other like the plague. Tried being the operative word._

_No matter how hard we tried, somehow we'd always cross paths. _

_He got through it by sending me withering glares and 'thinking' that he was better than me (as if). _

_I got through it by not looking or talking to him unless it was unavoidable, relishing the fact that I knew more people around the station than he did, and knowing that I was one of the best rookies of the 2006 group. _

_Of course having my best friend and two other really good friends there with me got me threw it as well. _

_In fact, I was sure that they made it as easy as it was for me at 15__th__ division as possible._

_Well, as possible as they could have made it when I had a much hated half brother there with me. _

* * *

Half brother.

I grimaced at the admission.

I was now past the point of trying to deny it though.

I did the background checks, I made the phone calls, I checked the records. I'd bet money that Callaghan probably had done the same thing our rookie year.

It still didn't make it any easier to know the truth though. I've had what, 4 years to get used to it?

But then again, how do you get used to finding out that your 'ex-friend' is your half brother that you didn't know about until both of you were 27 year old adults?

It wasn't easy. And now with me admitting that I have feelings for Andy knowing that she was dating my 'half brother'? It was horrible.

Of course she didn't know that Callaghan was my half brother. I was positive that he wouldn't have told her. I wouldn't have either.

Hopefully neither of us would ever have to tell her either. I would be perfectly happy with her never knowing that we're related.

Well I'd be perfectly happy if _I_ never knew that we are related.

I sighed.

There was no point in wishing that things that happened didn't. At the end of the day, I still know that Callaghan is my half brother.

Not even Jerry could make me forget that, and Jerry could distract anyone from anything.

There was a soft knock at the door and after a quick moment, the door opened and Jerry stood at the door.

Speak of the devil I thought smugly, and I knew that the beginnings of a smile were playing on my face.

"Hey there champ," he said with a smile walking in and closing the door behind him. "You feeling better?"

I sighed and gestured for him to take a seat.

"I guess I`m feeling as good as I can considering that my rookie is in a coma, I have a freak of a woman trying to jump me, and I`m reliving the horror that is my 'half brother'."

All Jerry did was raise his eyebrow, looking at me questioningly as he pulled one of the chairs over and lowered himself into it.

"Huh. All in the day of a cop eh?"

I gave a short laugh. "I guess."

We sat together in silence for a short while, looking at Andy.

It was then that I realized that I was holding onto her hand, lightly rubbing my thumb across the back of it.

I didn't do anything to move my hand. I figured that I deserved this little consolation after a day that was so full of crap.

"So," Jerry began, and I knew that he noticed out joined hands as well. "What did you mean when you said, 'reliving the horror that is my half brother'?"

I exhaled a deep breath loudly.

"I was sitting here looking at Andy and I couldn't help thinking about how this was so much like what happened with Camille," I said to him, not taking my eyes off of her.

"Sam—" Jerry began but I cut him off with a shake of my head.

"I know I know. I eventually realized that they are two different people. And by eventually, I mean after spending quite a bit of time 'reliving the past'" I said using air quotes.

"Flashbacks?" he asked knowingly.

"Yup. From the first time we met, to our first date, to the first time I woke up with her beside me, to the time I spent sitting by her hospital bed."

"Yikes."

I turned my head to look in his direction to see that he was grinning.

"You're telling me," I said with a grin of my own.

"That still doesn't explain the Callaghan part of the equation."

"Oh, well I was thinking about how it would be more productive if I didn't drown myself in my thoughts of Camille and instead were to talk to Andy."

"You know how they say that people in coma's can hear you talking to them? It supposedly helps them get better sooner."

"So holding onto that, I started to talk to her about us at the academy. Me, you, Oliver, and Noelle. And one way or another, I ended up talking about you know, what happened at the academy with Callaghan."

"I didn't really explain how we found out, or any of the details really, but still," I gave a short laugh.

"I don't even know if she heard me, but I`m pretty sure that I hope she didn't."

"This whole Andy dating your half brother thing is messing you up more than you're letting on isn't it?" he asked.

I let go of Andy's hand and turned my body to face him.

I took a deep breath and looked Jerry in the eye.

"I don't even know how to begin to explain how messed up I`m feeling about the fact that the only girl I've felt anything for since Camille, is dating my half brother."

* * *

_**Hope you liked it!**_

_**comment and review!**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**Chapter 23!**_

_**ok so yesterdays RB epi? made me want to BAWL! :( i cant believe that Luke and Andy are back together -_- my only condolence is that Andy will end up with Sam eventually. **_

_**here's the e-mail i sent my friend literally two minutes after the epi finished:**_

_ :'(_  
_i can NOT believe dat Andy nd Luke are back 2gether _  
_lik in de forest wen he was cleanin up her leg nd shit i was lik awwwwwwwwwwwwwwn! :D _  
_nd then he was lik how Luke is a gud guy nd i was lik um... :S_  
_nd then Sam tells Luke hes bein an idiot thinkin dat him nd Andy r mor den friends nd i was lik uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhg! :|_  
_nd then wen Andy was talking 2 Luke nd Luke was talkin bak i was lik ohhhhhhhhhhh! :(_  
_nd then wen they kissed i was lik NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! :'(_  
_tear tear._  
_im gunna go mope or smthing -_-_  
_the only thing makin me feel bettr is the fact dat i no dat Sam nd Andy will end up 2gether -_-_  
_*sigh*_  
_nite nite :P_

_**Excuse my short-hand in this e-mail. lol :)**_

_**anyways Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.**_

_**Enjoy!  
**_

* * *

"_This whole Andy dating your half brother thing is messing you up more than you're letting on isn't it?" he asked._

_I let go of Andy's hand and turned my body to face him._

_I took a deep breath and looked Jerry in the eye._

"_I don't even know how to begin to explain how messed up I`m feeling about the fact that the only girl I've felt anything for since Camille, is dating my half brother." _

* * *

I sighed and tipped my head to look up the ceiling.

"Sam," Jerry began gently. "Maybe it would be best if you were to just, I don't know forget about her."

At his words, I snapped my head forward to glare at him.

"Do you think that it is that easy Jerry? Don't you think that if I could do that, that I would have ages ago?" I snapped, frustrated.

Jerry looked at me silently before he sighed. He leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his knees.

"Look, I realise that you don't really get to pick and choose who you fall in lo—um... I mean develop feelings for," he said and I had to smile at the fact that he corrected himself before saying 'who you fall in love with.'

"But maybe you should try to I don't know, get over her?"

Before I could argue he continued.

"Maybe you should call up one of your old high school flings and have some fun?"

The small smile fell off my face before it had a chance to grow.

"You want me to go out and have sex with old girlfriends in the hopes of trying to get over Andy? Are you completely insane?" I growled at him.

Jerry held out his hands as a sign of peace.

"Hey, I didn't mean sleep with them... but then again, whatever it takes..." he said sheepishly, and at that moment I could have smacked him upside the head.

He must have noticed the murderous look on my face because he immediately retaliated.

"Or," he said quickly. "Just go out on a date Sam. A casual drink or something. Anything to take your mind off of this."

After glaring at him for another second I sighed.

I knew that he was only trying to look out for me, and trying to make me feel better about this situation.

He tried the same thing with Camille. In fact, without him, I probably wouldn't have made it through that, and I would have gone through with my initial idea to resign from the force.

"I don't know, Jer," I said then leaned forward to rest my elbows on my knees and drop my face into my hands.

"I really don't know if that will actually make any difference. I would probably just think about Andy the whole time, and my 'date' doesn't deserve that."

"Since when did you get so considerate of your dates Swarek?" he asked and I looked up momentarily to see that he was grinning at me.

I returned it with a small grin of my own.

"Since I grew up, Barber." I returned.

"Oh, this infamous playboy has cleaned up his act," he joked. "What would all of your high school flings say about that?"

I took some actual time considering my answer.

"Well, I`m sure some of them would have wished that I would have gotten around to 'cleaning up my act' a few years earlier."

"And I'm sure that an equal number of them would be disappointed that you have become such a pussy," he said with a huge grin on his face.

"A pussy eh Barber? You shouldn't be talking, especially after Taylin. Remember her Jer?" I asked and struggled to conceal a laugh as he grimaced.

"Yea, I do. Though I wish I could forget."

"Not so hard to forget a girl once she get under your skin eh Jerry?" I asked quietly, looking down at my fingers.

I heard Jerry take a deep breath.

"I didn't say I would be hard, but you could do it if anyone could Sam."

"But what if I don't want to?" I asked, still staring at my hands.

"Are you saying that you don't want to?" he asked, his voice dropping to match the volume of my own.

I was silent for a long moment, thinking.

Do I want to?

I tried to find the answer that I _thought_ was right. I tried to think past all the images of Andy and Callaghan in my head.

And that was it, I realized.

As much as I fantasized about Andy and me being together, those images were always going to be showed up by the ones of Andy and Callaghan being together.

And they were always going to be much more accurate than the ones of Andy with myself.

I exhaled angrily.

Why did I have to fall for someone who already had a boyfriend who she was happy with? Why do I have to be the one who always ended up hurt?

It wasn't fair to me, I thought angrily.

Why should I wait for Andy to break up with him to be with me when I was almost certain that it wasn't going to happen.

I thought about Jerry's question again.

"_Are you saying that you don't want to?"_

"No," I said, and looked up to meet Jerry's eyes again.

"I'm not saying that, in fact, I want to. " I said, and it was easier when I said it out loud.

"I`m sick of being second to Callaghan with Andy."

"Sam, I`m sure it's not like that," said Jerry, and it didn't matter because I was so sure that it was.

"Whatever," I said testily. "So who do you think I should call up? Adrianne? Brook Lynn? Or maybe Christy?"

"Definitely not Christy," Jerry said shuddering, and I let out a short laugh.

"Alright, no Christy. Who did you have in mind?"

"I don't know..." he said uncertainly, almost like he was second guessing his own plan. "Maybe Adrianne, or Riquette..."

He seemed to be thinking for a while before his face lit up.

"Hey, I have a great idea. Jennifer."

"Jennifer?" I asked trying to remember a Jennifer from high school. "When did I date a Jennifer?"

"She's not from high school Sam," he said with a grin and I was beginning to realize what he meant.

"I meant _Nurse_ Jennifer. The one that has been trying to give you an um... subtle hint?" he said, obviously trying not to laugh.

"Yea, subtle my ass," I said and that seemed to do it for Jerry because he started to laugh.

"No wait," he said as he continued to laugh.

"Get this, if you were to take Nurse Jennifer out... on a date... oh my god... this is killing me..." at this point he was having a full blown laughing fit.

"I bet it is," I said dryly as a grin broke out on my face.

"Wait, so if you... take her out, right?... she would totally lay off... in public..." he managed, still laughing hysterically.

"Jer, I think you hysterical. I think I should slap you." I said then proceeded to get out of my chair.

Jerry leaned back against his seat, still laughing, with his hands up, palms facing me.

"Wait, wait," he said beginning to calm down as I took a step towards him. "I'm good, no slapping."

"Speak for yourself," I said, but I grinned as I sat down again, Jerry seemed to have calmed down.

"What I`m saying is that you take her out and she'll stop trying to jump your bones everywhere you go," he said.

"It'll be like hitting two birds with one stone."

"You see a man would have said 'it'll be like shooting two birds with one bullet' but then again..." I trailed off suggestively.

"Do you need proof of my manliness Swarek?" he asked with fake malice.

"You'd have to find it first," I said with a smirk.

"You want me to drop my pants right here and right now Swarek?" he asked standing up.

My grin widened.

"Wow Barber, what's up your ass?"

"Why don't you come over here and tell me?"

"Sorry, I`m straight,"

"As a circle."

"Wow, I walk in to hear this kind of talk? _And_ with a lady present, I`m ashamed of you two."

We turned to see Oliver standing by the door.

After a moments silence we all cracked up.

"Oh god, good times good times. But anyways, Barber, Boyko wants you to call him."

"Yea, I`m on it," he said still laughing, before turning to me. "So you'll do it?"

"Gag me," I said sarcastically.

"What have I told you boys about that kind of talk?" Oliver asked playfully.

I grinned at him before looking at Jerry. "Yeah I'll think about it."

"Well good luck with that buddy boy," he said then walked out of the room.

I looked at Oliver to see that he had his eyebrow quirked in question.

I sighed.

"Sit down Oliver."

* * *

_**Hope you liked it!**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	24. Chapter 24

_**Chapter 24**_

_**Rookie Blue and its original Concepts do not belong to me**_

_**Enjoy!  
**_

* * *

"_Yea, I`m on it," he said still laughing, before turning to me. "So you'll do it?"_

"_Gag me," I said sarcastically._

"_What have I told you boys about that kind of talk?" Oliver asked playfully._

_I grinned at him before looking at Jerry. "Yeah I'll think about it."_

"_Well good luck with that buddy boy," he said then walked out of the room._

_I looked at Oliver to see that he had his eyebrow quirked in question._

_I sighed._

"_Sit down Oliver."_

* * *

In about 25 minutes, I had Oliver updated with all that was going on.

He was now sitting in the chair that Jerry had vacated once he left, facing me with one of his hands stroking his chin as if he was doing some major thinking.

I was still in my seat beside Andy's bed, my fingers lightly resting on the top of her hand.

At the end of those 25 minutes, a nurse had come in to check up on Andy. She told me that there were no changes in her condition.

She also told me to 'not worry' and that she 'hoped that things will get better'.

Yea, you and me both.

After she took down a few more notes on the clipboard that she carried, she left with a quiet 'goodbye' as she shut the door behind her.

Neither Oliver nor I had spoken since the nurse left the room.

All of a sudden Oliver cleared his throat, and I looked up from Andy's still motionless body to look at him.

"Do you want to know what I think?" he asked me, and I thought that was a stupid thing to do because even if I had said no, chances are that he would tell me anyway.

"Yea sure," I replied. "Why the fuck not."

"Well no need to be a meany Swarek," he said with mock hurt colouring his voice.

"Ok ok, tell me what you think," I told him.

"Ok, well first off, I am so damn glad that you have finally manned up and admitted to the fact that you are crazy in love with little miss McNally,"

When he said this, I couldn't stop myself from scowling at him.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"I`m just saying that it took a pretty damn long time for you to realize and admit something that I`m sure everyone else at the barn already has."

"Well I`m sorry to disappoint," I ground out through my clenched teeth.

"No need to get all pissy Sam. I`m just making an observation."

"Uh huh. Can you get on with your _observation_ then doctor?"

"Har har. Well anyways, I also think that Jerry has a point. Maybe you should forget about McNally... romantically that is."

I really wished that he would stop with all the lovey dovey references he was making. I didn't say that I was in love with her.

But then again, I didn't say that I wasn't.

"So I was thinking that you should take one of your lady friends out. You know get a drink, go to dinner, maybe go back to her place if you're lucky," he added, bouncing his eyebrows suggestively.

I sighed.

"What is it with you and Jerry thinking that sex is suddenly going to solve all my problems."

"My man, since when has sex not solved a problem?"

I looked up at him sharply to see that he was grinning. I relaxed a little knowing that he was just teasing me.

"Look, I was just kidding about the sex. Well... mostly..." he grinned.

"God Oliver, I wish you would just get to the point," I said in an exasperated tone.

"_The point_," he began. "Is that you need to get out more. When was the last time you went out on an actual date?"

Before I could answer he continued as if he just realized something.

"Um... ok don't answer that," he said, no doubt remembering that the last _real_ date I went on was with Camille.

"You should find someone else to be with you, you know? Date around, find a nice girl that can help you move on."

"Because let's face it, I hate to see you pinning after a girl who's taken, not to mension a girl who's taken by your own half brother."

At that I groaned.

"Urgh. Don't remind me."

Oliver grinned.

"I say that you ask that Jennifer out on a date. She's obviously interested, if anything that I heard from Nash was true."

I grimaced at the memory of what happened earlier.

"Yeah, about that. How's Nash?"

"Nash? She went back to the barn with Williams. Epstein left too."

"So who's left at the hospital?"

"Um, me, you, and Jerry," he replied.

"Callaghan?"

"He took a call from Boyko and he left right after that. I`m guessing that he got called back to the barn."

I sighed in relief. At least I wasn't going to be running into him any time soon. Another look at Andy had a thought popping into my head.

"Did anyone call her dad? I mean, shit, wasn't that the first thing we were supposed to do?"

"No worries Sammy. We got it covered. Boyko called him before he left here. He also told him that she was stable and that he didn't need to come down right away."

"And what did her dad say. He obviously would have wanted to come anyway."

"Well I don't know what happened, but Boyko said something like McNally was held up with something so he wouldn't be down right now but would be as soon as he could."

"Held up with something?" I asked bewildered. "What could possibly hold you up from coming to see your daughter who's in the hospital in a fucking coma?" I asked angrily.

I knew that he was an alcoholic, but this was crazy.

Oliver held his hands up.

"I don't know Sam, I`m just telling you what Boyko told me."

We were silent for another moment, both of us looking at Andy lying on the bed. The steady beep of the cardiac monitor in the background.

"He'll be here eventually. Now, onto what we were talking about before, so you'll ask the nurse out?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Yea, I will."

* * *

_**hope u liked it!**_

_**dont be too upset that Sam is going to ask Jen out :) lol**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	25. Chapter 25

_**Chapter 25!**_

_**so sorry i couldnt update for a few days! me and my sister were staying over at my uncles place in Vaughan and i wasnt alowed to take my laptop :( **_

_**anyways. im back home and updating!**_

_**RB TONIGHT! cant wait!**_

_**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me**_

_**Enjoy!  
**_

* * *

"_Held up with something?" I asked bewildered. "What could possibly hold you up from coming to see your daughter who's in the hospital in a fucking coma?" I asked angrily. _

_I knew that he was an alcoholic, but this was crazy._

_Oliver held his hands up._

"_I don't know Sam, I`m just telling you what Boyko told me."_

_We were silent for another moment, both of us looking at Andy lying on the bed. The steady beep of the cardiac monitor in the background. _

"_He'll be here eventually. Now, onto what we were talking about before, so you'll ask the nurse out?"_

_I took a deep breath and let it out slowly._

"_Yea, I will."_

* * *

"You will?" Oliver asked, looking at me sceptically.

"Yup," I said nodding my head.

I figured that I might as well. I mean nothing could go wrong, right? This was just a way for me to get Andy off my mind.

Maybe if I start dating again, I can permanently get over her. I mean, it's not like I have to have some sort of a permanent relationship with Jennifer.

I can take her out on one date, maybe take her out to dinner or for a drink or something.

If things don't work out well, and I`m betting that they won't, I can always use the 'I'll call you' line and just not call.

Hopefully dating her will show me that I really need to go on an actual date with a nice girl.

And fingers crossed, all of this will take my mind off of Andy and Luke.

"I mean, what have I got to lose right? And besides, I have got to admit that Jennifer _is_ really hot."

A grin broke out on Oliver's face.

"Ah, there's the Sammy that I know and love."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling back at him.

I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well I`m a cop right? I got to stick to the facts."

At this Oliver gave a short laugh.

"You got that right, Sammy. You got that right."

We sat for another moment in silence before Oliver's loud sigh broke it.

"Ok," he said as he got to his feet. "Well I hope this thing with the nurse works out for you."

Doubt it, I thought ruefully.

"When are you going to get it done?" he asked as he looked down at me.

I looked in Andy's direction. Her breathing was soft and rhythmic and I found myself hoping that that thing about how comatose patients can hear, you was not true.

"Uh, soon I guess," I said distractedly.

The sound of Oliver clearing his throat brought my eyes up to him.

He raised his eyebrows pointedly at me.

"You know Sam, normally I wouldn't peg you for a guy who puts things off, but right now..." he trailed off.

"No, I'll do it." I said to him.

He didn't look as if he believed me too much.

"Really. In fact, I'll get it done today." _What_? _I would?_

"I'll just find her, she's got to be in the hospital somewhere right?"

_Yea, all I'd have to do would be just to turn around and she'd probably be standing there,_ I thought.

"I'll ask her to dinner." _I would?_

I took a deep breath.

There.

I just told Oliver what I'd do, and because of that I'll have to do it. That`s because I never go back on my word. And Oliver knew that.

He seemed satisfied enough with my answer, and he nodded his head.

"Good, good. You do that."

He stood there awkwardly for a moment, shifting from foot to foot.

"Well," he said finally.

"I think I`m going to go get something to eat downstairs," he said, idly rubbing his stomach.

"Ok," I said nodding. Knowing him, he'd probably be heading to the Wendy's in the downstairs food court.

"Ok," he repeated and he stepped towards the door.

"So I'll see you later. You get the job done, son," he said over his shoulder.

"Will do, Shaw," I replied as he opened the door.

But before he went through it, he seemed to hesitate for a second before he turned around to face me once again.

"You know Sam, you're a good guy. Have always been. You deserve a girl who makes you believe it." He said and walked through the door, closing it soundlessly behind him.

_So they say,_ I thought to myself then sighed.

Well what if Andy is that girl?

I took a deep breath and turned to Andy, looking at her face as if it would hold the answers to all my unanswered questions.

Sadly no luck.

Her face remained as passive as ever.

I sat back in my seat, idly drumming my fingers against the arm rest.

I tiled my head back to look at the round clock on the wall.

The time read 6:35.

We got here around 2:20. Give or take.

So what was that? Almost 4 hours?

God, what I wouldn't give for a shower right about now. But at least I was in clean clothes.

I sighed and pushed to my feet.

I wouldn't be able to get my shower right now, but I may as well get around to asking Jennifer out right now.

It wasn't like I was doing anything productive sitting here anyways, right?

I got to the door and opened it, but something held me back from walking right through it.

I hesitated for a moment before casting a glance over my shoulder at Andy, who was lying there looking as beautiful as ever.

I tried one last time to see if I could seriously picture myself with Andy, and as much as I wished that I could say that I did, I didn't.

Each one of my pictures was replaced with ones of Callaghan with Andy, and that only strengthened my determination to get over her.

Without another glance in her direction, I walked out the door. Physically as well as emotionally, you could say.

I headed off with the goal of finding Jennifer (that'll be easy) and asking her out (that, not so much).

But I told myself that this was a good idea. Maybe I didn't believe it 100% but I was pretty close. Like 97% kind of close.

But that last 3% wouldn't let me get rid of the picture of Andy in my head.

Oh well, what's another 3% anyway? I didn't care about it during high school, so why should I start now?

I didn't know where to look first, but I found myself walking to the elevator and I realized that the 3rd floor examination rooms would be my best bet.

The elevator dinged open and I stepped in as three people stepped out.

It was a man, a woman and a little dark haired boy.

The man had dark brown hair and eyes as did the woman. It was clear in the way that they held each other that they were a couple.

And I could see enough of them in the little boy to know that he was their son.

I could feel my heart clench as the woman's face morphed into Andy's and the man's face changed into the one I see in the mirror every day.

The woman smiled at me and that snapped me back.

Before I could smile back, the three of them were walking away. The man and woman hand in hand and the little boy dancing ahead of them.

I watched them walk down the hallway.

The door began to close, taking the view of the family away from me, and deep down, I couldn't help but wonder how true that was.

* * *

_**hope you liked!**_

_**cant wait fer RB :)**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	26. Chapter 26

_**Chapter 26!**_

**I am SOOOOO very sorry about how long it took for me to get this up. its just that school is now back in session and i spent the last few days working stuff out beforehand.**

**so now that school is in session, i think that i'm going to update once a week, cuz as much as i hate it, hmk does come first -_-**

**and OMG RB 2 HOUR SEASON 1 FINALEE!**

**CANT WAIT!**

**lollz**

**Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.**

**Enjoy!  
**

_

* * *

I could feel my heart clench as the woman's face morphed into Andy's and the man's face changed into the one I see in the mirror every day. _

_The woman smiled at me and that snapped me back._

_Before I could smile back, the three of them were walking away. The man and woman hand in hand and the little boy dancing ahead of them. _

_I watched them walk down the hallway._

_The door began to close, taking the view of the family away from me, and deep down, I couldn't help but wonder how true that was._

* * *

Once the doors were completely shut, I leaned against the wall. I closed my eyes and sighed heavily. A dull ache was beginning to form in my head as I worked to ignore it.

I opened my eyes to stare at the ceiling and had to squint them against the harsh overhead lighting.

My mind kept being drawn to the happy little family. To the pretty woman with her welcoming smile. To the handsome man with his love towards his wife so obvious.

To the product of their love and devotion, the child, dancing ahead of them.

Deep down, I knew that that was what I wanted.

No matter how much I come off as arrogant or self centered, in the end I have always wanted to end up with that 'white picket fence' temperament.

I've always wanted a woman to care for and to love. I've always wanted little kids running around my house. Living, breathing proof of our love and devotion to one another.

I have always wanted to be the kind of father to my kids that my own father wasn't to me.

I would love them and care for them like my father never did to myself, or even Callaghan.

I would show them that I would do anything for them and that I would always be there for them no matter what happened.

And that I would never, _ever_, leave them, like my own father so carelessly did.

All in all, I would be everything to them that my father wasn't. Deep down, I knew this was my way of telling myself that I wasn't like him. We were two different people.

But I had to admit that no matter how much I tried, no matter how much I strived to become what he was not, no matter how much I wanted to say that we were nothing alike, I couldn't.

Because he is my father. Like it or not. It was his blood that runs through my veins. His face that resembles the one that I look at in the mirror every day.

His name that I hold on my shoulders like a dead weight.

I sighed again as the elevator opened on the 3rd floor and stepped out.

I remembered the directions to the examination rooms so that was where I decided to look first. If Jennifer was where she was supposed to be, she would be there.

Walking down the hallway, I was mentally preparing myself for what I was about to do.

All the while I was trying, unsuccessfully if you asked me, to ignore the part of my brain that was screaming at me to turn around and go back to Andy's room.

That was fairly pointless, considering that the rare times that she did speak to me about her relationship with Callaghan, things seemed to be going just fine.

Sadly.

I could perfectly imagine myself coming home from work, parking my baby in our drive, walking up the steps to have the door open just as I got there.

To see Andy's smiling face as she tips her face up for a kiss as I run my hand over her belly, now swollen holding our child.

To come inside and hear my little boy yell "Daddy" as he launches himself at me, and I pick him up and spin him around.

Yea, I could _perfectly_ imagine that, I though with a small smile unknowingly forming on my face.

And at night we would put our son down for his nap, and I'd take Andy up to our bedroom. We would lie down next to each other and turn to her.

I'd run my hand tenderly over the stomach that now held our baby girl.

"Andy," I'd whisper.

"Andy, I love—"

"Hello Sammy, come to see me?"

That sultry voice snapped me back from my thoughts as I looked down to focus on the beautiful face that when with it.

When I met her eyes, Jennifer sent me a 100 watt smile.

"Um... I uh..." I stuttered.

I knew exactly what I was _supposed_ to say.

I've been thinking about it this whole time, planning what I was going to say to get this done as soon as possible.

But as of just this minute, all of that flew from my mind, and I had no idea what I was saying.

I, Sam Swarek, did not know what to say to a female being for the first time in... well, in ever.

But then again, Jennifer was no normal female being, she was what me and Jerry would call a 'man eater'.

I almost smiled at the memory that came with me and Jerry and that label... almost.

But back to present matters, Jennifer was still standing in front of me with that expectant, and quite seductive, look on her face.

And I was still stuttering like a teenage boy who has just entered the Playboy Bunny Mansion.

"Yes?" she provided.

"Um, yea I uh... needed ask you something but uh... I um... forgot..." I ended lamely.

She tilted her head to one side as if she was considering me.

"Oh," she said cheerily.

"Well if you remember later on..." she trailed off taking a step the brought her very close to me.

"You know where to find me," she whispered in my ear, and the hairs on the back of my head stood up against my will.

She pulled her head back to look up into my eyes, her mouth was dangerously close to mine and I could feel her breath on my face.

Huh, minty. It was a miracle what my brain did when it's placed on the spot.

"Uh yea well... yea..."

I may not seriously have feelings for her. Hell, I don't thing I had any for her. But she was still a woman, a gorgeous woman at that, and I was still a man.

I could help but feel somewhat attracted to her on a physical level.

And right now, looking down at her gave me the perfect view down her shirt, and I`m sure she knew that.

As if that wasn't bad enough, her chest was heaving as though she had run a marathon. Again, I`m sure she was doing it on purpose.

She abruptly took another step that brought her chest right up against mine, and my very male mind was going wild.

I subconsciously tipped my head a bit lower, closer to hers.

Our lips were now just a breath apart.

I could hear my heart thundering in my chest, and even though in my head I knew that I didn't want her, but my body wanted nothing but her.

Well, nothing that I could actually get but her.

Besides, Andy had Callaghan. Right? I thought as I lowered my head again.

Right?

* * *

_**O.O dun-dun-dunnnnnn**_

_**does he kiss her? does he not? will Andy wake up?**_

_**tune in next week to find out! :D**_

_**LMAOOO! ahhaha god i crack myself up :D**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**Chapter 27**_

**i am so sorry that this took forever to upload. im trying to find the time to update atleast once a week so bare with me here :)**

**and i dont think i commented about the season finale yet so i'll do that now. So i was majorly dissapointed to find that Andy and Luke are still going strong... :( but i do have to admit that the 2 episodes of the finale did bring Andy and Sam together. The moments they had together were MAJORLY adorable :)**

**i can not WAIT until season 2 starts. anyone know when?**

**anyways, Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me.**

**Enjoy!  
**

_

* * *

She abruptly took another step that brought her chest right up against mine, and my very male mind was going wild. _

_I subconsciously tipped my head a bit lower, closer to hers._

_Our lips were now just a breath apart._

_I could hear my heart thundering in my chest, and even though in my head I knew that I didn't want her, my body wanted nothing but her._

_Well, nothing that I could actually get but her._

_Besides, Andy had Callaghan. Right? I thought as I lowered my head again._

_Right?_

* * *

I drew in a deep breath and looked down into the face of a fallen angel... or devil, depending on how you looked at it.

That inhalation brought her strong and oddly floral scent right up into me and slammed it into my defence barrier.

The barrier that was currently trying to tell me that I shouldn't give into this, that I shouldn't kiss Jennifer right here right now.

But like I said, that floral scent was a killer.

I could practically feel that barrier tremble then begin to crumble into nothing more than whisper of protest.

My head was hovering right over hers, our foreheads practically touching and our breath mingling because our mouths were so close together.

"Sam," she whispered huskily bringing my gaze that was fixed on her eyes down to her lips.

Her beautiful, seductive, full, red lips...

My resolve was weakening, and I knew that my mind was floating into uncharted territory.

The little devil sitting on my shoulder had somehow shut up the angel, because the only thoughts running through my mind at this point were focused on how it would feel to press my own lips against her for even an instant.

Just one kiss, just one touch.

What's the harm right?

I was single and I`m assuming that she was too. Its not like anyone will get hurt.

Just one little peck, just one...

"Just one..." I murmured quietly, almost to myself and began to lower my head to close the irritating gap between our lips.

Her long black lashes were fluttering closed as my own began to lower, and I subconsciously noted that my hand had moved to her lower back, holding her to me.

Just one kiss, just one...

"Jennifer, you should be at the desk."

At the sound of the new voice, my body reacted as though I had had a bucket of ice cold water overturned on me.

I jerked away from her and took a large step back putting some space between us. The step made Jennifer's hands drop limply to her side as she turned to glower at the source of the voice.

Standing here now looking back on what I was about to do just seconds ago had me thanking my lucky stars that the saint with the gruff voice had interrupted before I did something that I would later regret.

Just thinking about it had me grimacing and stuffing my fisted hands deep into the pockets of my jeans as if I didn't trust them to be free.

I looked up into the face of the man who was now receiving the very unsubtle glares from the agitated blond in front of me.

_If looks could kill_. The old saying flittered through my mind.

I almost felt as though I should reach out and hold onto her before she lunged at the man, like she looked like she was going to.

In fact, she looked like a very, very pissed of tiger.

_Note to self_, I thought idly. _Try very hard not to piss Jennifer off._

"What?" she hissed from between her teeth, and the man, though he was more than twice as big as her, seemed to shrink back.

"Um... well..." he began to stutter and I felt a strange sort of pity for the man. Or maybe that was empathy...

The tall man dragged his hand through his shaggy brown hair and looked down at his feet. It was then that I realized that he didn't look much older than Jennifer.

The man slowly looked up again to momentarily meet my eyes with his green ones, and a blush started to form on his cheeks as he quickly looked away.

"Well what?" Jennifer snapped forcing him to look at her again.

He shifted from foot to foot then he pulled at the bottom of the blue scrubs he was wearing, causing the light to glint off his name tag that read 'Tristan'.

"Um, well uh, Dr. Freshen saw that you weren't at the desk and asked me to come find you immediately and return to your desk..." he somewhat mumbled to his white shoes.

"Couldn't you see that I was busy?" she growled and advanced a step towards him and though he didn't take a step in retreat, it was obvious that he really wanted to.

That was definitely pity I was feeling now and I decided to step in before Jennifer clawed his eyes out of their sockets.

"No it's alright," I began and she whirled to glare at me and I had to school my face not to grimace.

My gaze darted to Tristan and he seemed to exhale in the relief having Jennifer's anger directed elsewhere.

He met my eyes and his expression was one of deep gratitude.

"No it wasn't, it was rude of him to interrupt," she said then snapped her head around to glare at Tristan again, and the poor guy immediately hunched his shoulders and looked wide eyed at her.

"No really," I said and her head whipped back around to me.

_With the speed she was moving her head, she was going to dislocate it soon_, I thought idly.

"It was wrong of me to come here and take your time when you obviously had a previous commitment to your job."

She glared at me before she, yes you guessed it, whipped her head back to Tristan, and this time he did take a step back.

"It isn't his fault, he only did what he was told to do," I said in the hopes of making her stop shooting daggers at the poor man.

It didn't work.

"If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I shouldn't have come here."

"No," she said taking a step towards me and I purposely straightened my shoulders to keep from moving away.

"Don't try to turn this on you Sammy," she said sweetly.

It was a serious talent, the way the woman could turn her emotions from one extreme from another. Maybe she was bipolar.

I could see that she was trying to get her hands on me again in the hopes of going back to what we were doing before.

And Tristan, the poor guy, just couldn't shut himself up as he cleared his throat.

"Um, Jen?"

I sighed internally. Sometimes you just couldn't save them. I decided to make me escape just then.

"Uh, well I should get back now," I said taking slow steps backwards towards the exit.

Tristan sent me a pleading look. _Sorry buddy, you're on your own._

"Bye Jen," I said and nodded in Tristan's direction. "See you later man." I hope he survives, seems like a nice guy, I thought absently.

I turned my back and started towards the exit when Jennifer spoke up.

"Wait," she called and I winced before turning around.

"Yea?"

"Did you remember what you were going to tell me?" she asked expectantly.

Yes I did remember, but there was no way I was doing this right now.

"Um, no... I probably will later though..."

"Oh, ok. I'll come find you once I`m on my break," she said and I caught Tristan's wince. I guess she wasn't getting any breaks any time soon, I thought just a bit smugly.

"Uh sure," I said and made my escape.

Once I was clear of the examination rooms, I sighed loudly.

Oh god, since when did asking a girl out become such a hard thing to do?

This could not end well I thought, and a flash of what would have happened between us if Tristan didn't interrupt floated through my head.

Yup, I decided. This could _not_ end well.

* * *

_** So i hope you liked it.**_

_**And to those of you who are rooting for Andy to wake up soon... well lets just say that i'd hate for ya'll to wait any longer for that... :D**_

_**xoxo thedarkangel22  
**_


	28. Chapter 28

**_OKkk so i've finally had a chance to update my story :)_**

**_so if you haven't figured it out yet, im not going to drop this fic and i will finish it... eventually. So i hope you enjoy this chapter. It is shorter than my usual chapters and i hope to get them longer sooner. _**

**_Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me._**

**_enjoy :)  
_**

* * *

"_Oh, ok. I'll come find you once I`m on my break," she said and I caught Tristan's wince. I guess she wasn't getting any breaks any time soon, I thought just a bit smugly. _

"_Uh sure," I said and made my escape._

_Once I was clear of the examination rooms, I sighed loudly._

_Oh god, since when did asking a girl out become such a hard thing to do?_

_This could not end well I thought, and a flash of what would have happened between us if Tristan didn't interrupt floated through my head._

_Yup, I decided. This could not end well._

* * *

I kept my eyes on my black runners as I quickly made my way to the elevators.

When the elevators opened, I ran headlong into someone coming out. I looked up with the intention of muttering a quick apology and proceeding into the elevator.

The familiar face stopped me from doing that however.

"Hey, where have you been? I've called you about a million times," said Jerry.

"What? I didn't get any calls," I said and pulled out my phone. Sure enough, I had four missed calls from Jerry.

"Oh wait. Shit. Sorry about that. I didn't know that I had my ringer on silent." I said and set my phone to vibrate.

"So why did you call?"

"Apparently after you left Andy's room, her monitors showed some sort of change."

At his words my heart started to pound in my chest and I was suddenly tuned into what was coming out of his mouth.

"I don't know exactly what happened, but from what I heard, her heart rate picked up all of a sudden and her monitors detected some movement and—"

"Wait, she moved?" I said grasping Jerry's arm tightly.

"From what I've heard, that`s what it seems like. But Sam—" he began before I could hurry off to Andy.

"It doesn't mean much. You know as well as any of us that some involuntary body movement in comatose patients is normal."

"But it could have been voluntary," I said.

"It could have been that her body was getting ready to come out of the coma," I said and turned towards the stairwell.

"Wait Sam!" I heard Jerry call from behind me.

"Where are you going?"

"To see Andy" I yelled over my shoulder without stopping and pushed open the doors. I ran down the flights of stairs to the second floor.

I shoved open the doors and ran out into the hall. And somehow without even looking at the signs on the walls, I knew I was going in the right direction.

Sure enough, minutes later I was standing in front of her room. Touching the door handle, I took a deep breath before pushing it open.

Inside, an elderly nurse stood at Andy's head writing something on a clipboard in her hands.

At the sound of my entrance, she looked up at me with cornflower blue eyes.

"Oh hello." She said softly.

"Hello," I said softly.

"How is she?"

The nurse looked down at Andy once again and a soft smile appeared on her face.

"She's a fighter, I can tell you that much. It looks like she's already doing much much better."

My heart fluttered in my chest at her words.

"So you think she'll wake up soon?" I asked.

"Oh definitely," she said and her smile bloomed.

"I'd expect her to wake up within the week. Now I`m not supposed to be saying stuff like that to you. Getting your hopes up and such. But I she'll pull through. I can see it on her face."

After another moment of looking at Andy, she switched her gaze up to me again.

"Are you the husband?"

My throat closed and for a second I couldn't breathe. _Her husband? My wife?_

Taking a deep breath I shook my head.

"No, I uh..."

"Oh, so you're the boyfriend then," she said with a smile.

"Uh, n—" I began but she cut me off.

"The two of you look adorable together" she said and looked at Andy then back at me as if confirming her thought.

"Um, well—"

"Ah, young love," she said sounding wistful.

"So full of life."

And then her eyes widened as if she just realized something.

"Oh you poor dear," she said as she shuffled over to me much faster than I would expect an old lady to move.

"You must be so afraid to see her like this."

I look down intently into Andy's face.

"Yes..." I said softly as I looked down at her.

"Don't you worry dear," she said in a motherly tone.

"She'll be right as rain, you just watch. And soon you'll be walking her down the aisle and holding your babies." She said and my heart clenched.

_If only..._ I thought.

I said nothing. Only looked at Andy silently and after a moment, the woman rubbed my back.

"Don't worry. Everything will work out." She said almost as if she knew exactly what I was going through right now.

"I hope so..." I said softly.

"Now I`m just going to leave the two of you alone for a bit. You should talk to her. My senses tell me that it won't be long now. Just you wait and see," she said and moved towards the door.

"Oh and my name's Bernadette, just call me Bernie," she said as she opened the door.

"Sam Swarek," I said as I turned to face her.

She smiled and turned around. But before she left she looked over her shoulder at me.

"Have faith Sam..." she said and then left.

* * *

**_So there it is :)_**

**_comments and reviews people :) _**

**_xoxo thedarkangel22  
_**


	29. Chapter 29

_Heyyyyy there. Remember me? The ever so horrible person who hasn't updated in like a million years? _

_Yea, sorry about that._

_Let's just say that I was caught up with a whole bunch of other stuff, but still, that's no excuse for leaving all of ya'll hanging. _

_I guess that when the season was over, my motivation kind of wavered for a bit, but I`m back now :) I just hope that ya'll don't hate me too much for keeping you waiting for so long._

_Thanks to all of you who've favourited my story cuz it was like a friendly boot up the ass to let me know that I should probably update this story._

_Much appreciated. _

_And also thank you to my friend for giving me a much less subtle kick in the ass to get this story on the road._

_So this is for you Devanshi, and all you loyal readers who've been following this story and thank you all for not hunting me down and beating me with a stick :) though I`m pretty sure Devanshi wouldn't mind doing that -.-_

_Lol._

_So anyways, on with the story (finally). _

_Disclaimer: Rookie Blue and all its original concepts do not belong to me.

* * *

_

"_Don't you worry dear," she said in a motherly tone._

"_She'll be right as rain, you just watch. And soon you'll be walking her down the aisle and holding your babies." She said and my heart clenched._

_If only... I thought._

_I said nothing. Only looked at Andy silently and after a moment, the woman rubbed my back._

"_Don't worry. Everything will work out." She said almost as if she knew exactly what I was going through right now._

"_I hope so..." I said softly._

"_Now I`m just going to leave the two of you alone for a bit. You should talk to her. My senses tell me that it won't be long now. Just you wait and see," she said and moved towards the door._

"_Oh and my name's Bernadette, just call me Bernie," she said as she opened the door._

"_Sam Swarek," I said as I turned to face her._

_She smiled and turned around. But before she left she looked over her shoulder at me._

"_Have faith Sam..." she said and then left. _

_

* * *

_Have faith.

The words echoed dully in my head as I turned to rest my gaze on Andy's unmoving form on the large bed. The rise and fall of her chest under the hospital issued light blue sheets was somewhat reassuring, as was the steady beep of her heart monitor.

With a sigh I gently picked up her hand and sat down on the chair at the head of her bed. Resting my elbows on my knees, I leaned forward and looked down at our joined hands.

"So I hear that you're doing better," I said quietly, still looking down at our hands.

"That`s good...Improvement, you know?" The words rang throughout the room then died down as I lapsed back into an awkward silence.

Since when was talking to Andy this weird? I thought, frustrated.

I scrubbed my free hand over my face and lifted my eyes to look at her yet again.

"Andy, God... You have to get better. And yea, I know that that's probably what everyone's been saying to you, but you gotta know that we mean it."

"We can't lose you Andy. _I_ can't lose you. Not like this. Not again."

When my words were met by silence I scooted my chair closer to the bed and laid my free hand gently on the side of her face.

"Open your eyes, Andy." I murmured, stroking her cheek absently with my thumb.

"Look at me, Andy," I whispered bringing my face closer to hers.

"Please."

My face was so close to hers that her hair fluttered about as I spoke softly to her. With careful fingers I brushed away an idle lock that had drifted over her eye.

"Please." I murmured again, my lips only a whisper away from hers. That tiny distance was rapidly closing as my head moved forward to its own accord.

I was so intently focused on her face that I almost didn't feel her hand flex lightly in mine. Almost. Simultaneously, one of the machines beeped twice before going quiet again. I jerked back to look down at her, but she was still once again.

"Andy?"

I got no reply, not that I was really expecting one. With a sigh I leaned in to rest my forehead lightly on her shoulder. I must have imagined that, I thought sadly, and sure enough, she looked exactly as she had before.

Suddenly the reality of all of this hit me hard and I expelled a shaky breath as I burrowed my face into the juncture of her shoulder and neck.

"Oh God," I said, the words muffled against her soft skin and I shuddered. I didn't even think about how I would explain this if someone walked through that door right now. And quite frankly, I didn't give a rat's ass right at this moment.

I simply didn't think at all as I clutched Andy's prone form closer to me, rocking us both lightly. I subconsciously remembered that this was how I held Cam once the doctors announced that nothing more could be done for her.

Recalling that memory did nothing to calm me down or reassure me that things were going to be okay.

I held her more firmly and jerked upright once again when I heard a squeak. I looked around to see where it was coming from, and noticed that the IV fluid bag was rocking back and forth from where it was hanging.

I stood up and walked around the bed to look over at it and noticed that the bag was hung on a stand which had wheels. An experimental shake of the stand told me that this was where the squeak had come from. I must have tugged on the tubing when I was holding Andy.

I laughed softly at myself for getting so worked up over nothing. Now that I thought about it, it was quite humorous. But on a more serious note, I realized that I probably shouldn't be grabbing at her like that. God forbid that I pull out something that shouldn't be pulled out and put her life at even more of a risk than I already had.

Just for the sanity of my mind, I looked closely at where the IV tube connected with her skin. When I was satisfied that there was no leaking, and that I hadn't pulled anything out, I started to walk around the bed towards the chair again.

But before I got there, the door to Andy's room was flung open, the sudden movement startling me, and had my right hand twitch in the direction of where my weapon would have been had I been wearing my uniform.

Years of training. What can I say.

Once I saw who it was, however, I realized that I would need a whole lot more than my police issue to handle this problem.

I internally groaned as Jennifer rushed in with all her blonde haired glory. Wasn't she supposed to be working? It was a miracle that she hasn't been fired yet, I thought as the door closed at her back.

"Jen, what are you do—"

I didn't get the chance to complete my sentence, because with a soft giggle, she launched herself at me. Her momentum almost threw me off, so my hands automatically went to her hips to steady the both of us, lest we fall on top of Andy.

Obviously that was the wrong thing to do, because she apparently took it as an invitation to snake her arms up around my neck and press her curvaceous body flush against mine.

She looked up at me and winked as a sly grin appeared across her face.

"What—"

She cut me off again, but this time, she did it by pressing her lips firmly to mine. I knew I should have pushed her away, but for some reason I couldn't. It probably had something to do with the fact that I am a straight male.

"Um—"

I tried to speak under the assault of her lips, but she wouldn't have it.

"Shh," she murmured against my mouth, then continued to kiss me fervently. It was only a matter of time before my body decided to respond to her, and I kissed her back.

Jen moaned softly and tracked her hands down my chest, under my shirt, then up my back. She not so subtly also began to grind her hips against my own, and I'd have to be made of stone not to react to it.

My hands gripped her waist tightly and brought her more firmly against me.

_You should be ashamed_, some part of my brain yelled at me. _You love Andy, not Jennifer_, it accused.

That pretty much snapped me back to reality, and I felt the shame wash through me. I tried to softly push Jennifer away, and jerked when one of her hands traveled to the front of my jeans.

Oh for God's sake. How much more can a man take?

I grabbed her wandering hand to cease its movement even though a small part of me didn't want to. Acknowledging that small part of me had my stomach lurching again, not in arousal, but in mortification.

"Jen." I murmured against her mouth, trying to get her to stop kissing me, which obviously wasn't working too well considering that she just stepped it up a notch, thrusting her tongue into my mouth.

This had to stop. Someone could walk in any minute. Someone could—

"Sam?"

The voice was small and almost inaudible, but my eyes flew open and shot over to the bed.

"Ow," I heard Jen complain, I guessed I'd pushed her away with more force than I had initially intended. But Jen and all of the madness that she brought were soon forgotten as my eyes locked on the bed. Or to be more precise, locked onto wide brown eyes.

"I... Andy?" I stuttered, and had the sudden urge to pinch myself to make sure that I wasn't dreaming. But sure enough, there she was, her eyes open and fixed on me. Her eyes shot from me to a spot somewhere over my shoulder.

A slight shuffling from that direction told me that Andy was looking at Jen. When her eyes returned to mine, my heart dropped down to my feet to see them rapidly fill with tears.

Right at that moment, a dozen machines began to beep and buzz and hum around us, but I barely noticed as I watched as my Rookie came out of her coma. It would have been a happy ordeal if it hadn't been for the look in her eyes, or the tears that continued to gather there.

Oh God, what have I done...

* * *

_Ta da! Lol._

_I`m sorry if this chapter isn't as good as my others, but you know, I have to get my momentum back. _

_Hope you enjoyed it._

_Comment and Review _

_Xoxo thedarkangel22_


	30. Chapter 30

_Heyyy there :)_

_Here I am again with another chapter pour vous. And yes, I haven't forgotten about this story. I may be a procrastinator, but I always finish what I start._

_And so, without further a due, here's chapter 30 (oh my gosh, 30 already? :O lol)_

_Disclaimer: Rookie Blue and its original concepts do not belong to me –tears- _

_p.s I CAN NOT WAIT for this weeks' episode. Finally some Sandy action. I nearly died at the end of last weeks' episode when they were so close, SO CLOSE! Gahhh, those writers are going to kill me one of these days._

* * *

_This had to stop. Someone could walk in any minute. Someone could—_

"_Sam?"_

_The voice was small and almost inaudible, but my eyes flew open and shot over to the bed._

"_Ow," I heard Jen complain, I guessed I'd pushed her away with more force than I had initially intended. But Jen and all of the madness that she brought were soon forgotten as my eyes locked on the bed. Or to be more precise, locked onto wide brown eyes._

"_I... Andy?" I stuttered, and had the sudden urge to pinch myself to make sure that I wasn't dreaming. But sure enough, there she was, her eyes open and fixed on me. Her eyes shot from me to a spot somewhere over my shoulder. _

_A slight shuffling from that direction told me that Andy was looking at Jen. When her eyes returned to mine, my heart dropped down to my feet to see them rapidly fill with tears._

_Right at that moment, a dozen machines began to beep and buzz and hum around us, but I barely noticed as I watched as my Rookie came out of her coma. It would have been a happy ordeal if it hadn't been for the look in her eyes, or the tears that continued to gather there._

_Oh God, what have I done... _

Chapter 30

What amazing timing, I thought as the door flew open yet again as three nurses rushed in. They immediately flocked around Andy and began to fiddle around with the machinery and write things down on clipboards.

I had absolutely no idea what was going on.

I was scared as shit.

"What—what's happening?" I asked as my voice broke. One of the nurses, Bernie, turned to me as if seeing me in the room for the first time.

"Oh, Sam right? I didn't see you there. I'm going to have to ask you to leave for a bit honey," she said then began to usher me out.

"But—" I started to protest but the door swung shut in my face.

"Oh my God," I murmured then started to pace back and forth in front of the door. When Dr. Reinfrew hurried towards the door I tried to speak but he just brushed past me and went inside. Cursing, I continued to pace back and forth.

A few moments latter Jen came out, and I very nearly pounced on her.

"What happened? Is she alright?"

"Yea, guess so. The doctor is looking at her right now," she said dismissively then stepped closer to me. "Now where were we..." she murmured but I shoved her away none too gently. She huffed and looked at me for a moment before disappearing down the hall.

I sighed and rubbed my hands through my hair.

"Sam, what are you doing standing there?" I heard Jerry's voice ask and I turned to him.

"Woah, what happened?" he asked taking one look at my face.

"It's Andy...I... she's awake..."

"She is? That's great Sam," Jerry said and put a hand on my back.

"Yea, except she woke up and the first thing she saw was me kissing Jen."

"Holy shit," Jerry said, eyes widening. "You kissed Jen?"

"Jerry..." I growled a warning and he put his hands up, palms forward.

"Sorry, sorry. So what did the doctor say? When can she leave?"

"I don't know," I groaned and pulled at my hair. "They just fucking pushed me out of there and haven't said anything."

"Well give them time to figure things out Sam. I'm sure the doctor's going to want to speak with you soon."

"Well I wish he would hurry up," I snapped and began to pace again. When I heard pounding footsteps down the hall I looked up to see the last person I wanted to see.

Luke fucking Callaghan.

What the hell was he doing back here again?

Jerry put a restraining hand on my arm, as if he was anticipating me to jump Luke, which I would totally do. I would have too, but Dr. Reinfrew walked out right at that moment and I forgot all about Callaghan.

"How is she?" I asked him and he motioned me over to the side.

"I'm happy to say that she is out of the coma. She's resting right now, though. Just sleeping. The worst part is over now Sam," he said and put a hand on my shoulder and it felt as though a huge weight had lifted off my heart.

"She's okay?" I murmured, just to be sure.

"Yes. She's perfectly fine."

"And does she... does she remember what happened?"

"Yes, we asked her a series of questions to ensure that she hadn't lost any of her memory, and she has full recollection of the incident."

"Okay," I said quietly.

"Well then, I'll be back to check on her later then," he said then started to turn away, but I put a hand on his arm to stop him.

"I—thank you, so much. Really," I said trying to express my gratitude and found that I came up short.

"Not a problem, Officer," he said, gave me a quick smile, then walked away.

I slumped back against the wall and nearly slid the floor in relief.

Andy was going to be fine.

She was awake.

And she saw me kissing Jen.

I squeezed my eyes shut and groaned. That was so not the way I wanted her to see me for the first time after she woke up.

Now she probably thinks I'm some heartless asshole who was making out with a nurse in the room where his comatose Rookie lay just a few feet away.

But wasn't that exactly what happened?

I _was_ making out with a nurse a few feet away from my comatose Rookie.

God, I am such a jerk.

"What did he say?"

I looked over at Jerry as he walked over to me. He put a hand on my shoulder and led me over to the plastic chairs that lined the walls.

"He said that Andy was fine and that she was out of the coma. She has all her memory and she remembers what happened. She's resting right now, but he says she should be awake later."

"Well that's great news... isn't it?" he asked after taking in my expression.

"Of course it is," I said and sighed, suddenly very exhausted. "I just feel horrible about what she saw."

"During the Op?"

"No, Barber. Me kissing Jen."

"Ah," he said and was quiet for a moment.

"I mean, what kind of a jackass makes out with some random chick while his Rookie is laying in a hospital bed, arms length away? I knew that I could be a jerk, but this... I have no idea what fucking got into me," I said then put my head in my hands.

"Well, since you're feeling this bad about it, I don't think you're being a complete jackass," said Jerry trying to cheer me up, but it didn't work. I just gave him a look and he sighed and looked away.

"Look Sam, maybe it's for the best. She's with Luke, and you said it yourself, you didn't want to get in the way of her happiness. If that means that you have to move on, then I don't see the problem. At least this way you don't need to explain things to her."

"The problem, Jerry, is that I'm not too sure about it anymore..."

"Sure about what?"

"About just stepping back from Andy just because she's with Luke."

"What are you trying to say," Jerry said slowly, and I felt his eyes on me.

"I'm saying that I want Andy, and I'm going to get her one way or another."

* * *

_Ohhhh Sam is going to fight for his woman, how romantic ;)_

_Comment and review_

_Xoxo thedarkangel22_


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